


Our Tainted Chains

by RiverRunningFree



Series: The Chains You Wear [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Badass Sokka (Avatar), Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Hakoda (Avatar) is a Good Parent, Hallucinations, Hurt, Hurt Sokka (Avatar), Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Mentioned Ozai (Avatar), Minor Bato/Hakoda (Avatar), Oblivious Zuko (Avatar), Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, POV Sokka (Avatar), POV Zuko (Avatar), Parental Hakoda (Avatar), Past Child Abuse, Past Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Poison, Poisoning, Protective Sokka (Avatar), Protective Zuko (Avatar), Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Recovery, Sokka (Avatar) Has ADHD, Sokka (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Toph Beifong and Zuko are Siblings, Torture, Trauma, Zuko (Avatar) Needs Therapy, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko and Sokka are Idiots, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:08:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26978602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiverRunningFree/pseuds/RiverRunningFree
Summary: Two weeks after Boiling Rock, another rescue mission is underway. Zuko is just trying not to drown in his trauma and Sokka is dealing with his own issues. Hakoda just wants everyone to be okay.
Relationships: Bato/Hakoda (Avatar), Hakoda & Sokka (Avatar), Hakoda & The Gaang (Avatar), Hakoda & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka & Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Zuko
Series: The Chains You Wear [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956394
Comments: 128
Kudos: 587





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so firstly, WOW. Thank you guys so much for loving my last fic and requesting a SEQUEL. I cried when I saw all your comments, not even joking. Thank you all so much!
> 
> So! A couple housekeeping things:  
> 1) You should probably read the first fic (The Chains that Break You) before reading this one, or else it is not going to make much sense. However, if you don't want to read the prequel, I have a summary of that fic in the end notes of this chapter, so pop down there before reading this chapter.
> 
> 2) From here on out . . . THERE IS NO CANON *Takes script and tosses it into the fire* My logic here is that, since Azula and Mai and Ty Lee weren't at Boiling Rock, they never invaded the air temple and the group never got split up. ALSO, I have made an executive decision and decided that instead of being like a week away, Sozin's Comet is like two months away instead. More time to work with, yay.
> 
> 3) This chapter is an introductory chapter to this fic, so there is not as much angst and there is a lot more moving parts to organize and tidy up before we begin. This fic will (hopefully) be a lot longer than the last one, and be darker and more plot-driven.
> 
> 4) Lastly. . . MORE ZUKKA! I apologize in advance because our boys are idiots. But It's okay.

_ ZUKO POV _

  
“Shift your weight to be in the middle of your stance. Too far forward or too far back, any action you take will be off-balance. If you don’t adjust yourself, you’ll be open to every attack from an opponent.”

Aang screwed his face tightly in what Zuko assumed was supposed to be concentration. The younger boy shifted forward. Then too far forward. Then promptly stumbled in the middle of his next move.

“ _Balance._ You over-compensated and went too far. You must be centered perfectly, otherwise, your fire can go wild, and soon you will be the one bowing to its will and not the other way around.” Zuko demonstrated the series again, breathing smoothly through each transition. Balance perfectly centered.

“See? Try again.”

The young Avatar puffed out his cheeks morosely and moved back into his stance. He made it three movements before stumbling backward, completely off-balance.

Aang groaned and plopped down on the ground. He kicked his legs up and thumped his head back on the stone floor. “Why does firebending have to be so _hard_?” Aang whined, astutely ignoring the grinding of Zuko’s teeth.

The other boy pinched the bridge of his nose, “Aang. I’ve told you. Firebending is about contr-“

“ _Control_. Yes, I _know_.” Another groan, “You keep saying that.”

“Because it’s important.”

“You keep saying that too.” Aang jumped to his feet with a burst of wind and grinned cockily, “Hey! Do you know what would help me get the energy to have control?”

“Aang-“

“Breakfast!” The airbender flashed a smile and gave a scrambled bow before sprinting off.

“Aang.”

“Come on, Sifu Hotman! It’s food time!”

Zuko rolled his eyes and huffed out a quiet laugh. The Avatar always seemed to be zipping back and forth all over their campsite throughout the day. The fact that Zuko had managed to contain the buzzing boy in one place for a full three-hour period was, in his opinion, mildly impressive.

With a long-suffering sigh, Zuko rolled his shoulders against the strain in his muscles. The previous exercise thrumming through his body pleasantly. He let his feet guide him quietly back to his bedroll, skimming across the stone floor without a sound.

He pointedly avoided the group of excitedly chatting children huddled around the campfire and ducked through a nearby hallway to head towards his room.

While he had grown to be a part of the little group of misfits, especially since his return from. . . the prison. . . sometimes the concentrated yelling of the youthful voices was a bit too much. He rubbed at his mutilated ear subconsciously. Aang and Katara’s voices particularly seemed to reach a very impressive decibel when passionate.

Melting his body into a lotus position on his bedroll, he closed his eyes and focused on his chi to begin meditation.

Aang wasn’t the only one who needed work on their control.

His mind felt constantly scattered _all_ the time. And there were the. . . _other_ problems that had started becoming apparent lately. Even after Katara’s healing and removal of the poison, Zuko still had. . . issues. The after-effects of the poison had left his mind bruised and battered. He had hoped for instant recovery, but apparently, that hadn't been an option at all. 

The poison had been cruel and crushing. An all-encompassing weight that seemed to have left yet another scar on him, though this one remained unseen. But he was fine. Issues or no issues, Zuko could deal with it.

He took another steadying breath.

Focus on the inner flame. The calm, pulsing light in his soul. Relax and breathe. Release the tension. Let the flame flare out through his fingertips and gather into his palms. Breathe and-

“Zuko! You in here?! Are you joining us for break- oh.”

Zuko dropped his hands into his lap with a huff and opened his eyes. He turned to look at the doorway.

“Uh. Sorry. Buddy.” Sokka grinned weakly, “Didn’t realize you were doing the meditation. . .thingy.” He wiggled his fingers slightly.

Zuko raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll just uh-“ Sokka ducked out.

The firebender rubbed the palms of his hands into his temple. He just wanted one moment of peace and breath, that's all. Sokka was all energy, and right now Zuko had no energy to give. We wish he did. He really wish he could give Sokka the attention he deserved. 

“Wait! Did you want breakfast?” Sokka’s head popped back in, not noticing the way Zuko jumped slightly.

“No. . . thanks.”

Sokka worried at his lip nervously, "You, uh, you sure? We really like having you join us."

That made Zuko pause. Why would they enjoy him eating with them? "Yeah. I'm sure. Thanks though."

“Oh. Okay. Right.” Sokka disappeared again.

Zuko waited until the sound of Sokka’s footsteps faded into silence once again before resuming his meditation. He felt a headache coming on.

Ever since Boiling Rock, Sokka had been _different_. He’d been touchy. And caring. And very gentle as though Zuko was going to shatter like a glass doll if handled too harshly. It was weird. And Zuko didn’t like it.

Zuko didn’t exactly remember anything real that happened at the prison. All he remembered was the. . . hallucinations. Now those, those he couldn’t hope to forget. But as far as what actually occurred: the torture, the escape, arriving back at the temple, none of it registered in Zuko’s memory. Just pain and fear and- and-

He forced himself to breathe.

There was no reason for Sokka to be acting so concerned about him. Especially since it was so much more concern than any of the others had shown. Or to act so awkward and nervous.

Zuko snorted.

It was almost as though the boy _liked_ him.

That in itself would be absurd. It was a well-known fact that Zuko was undesirable, to say the least, the scar and his general communication crappiness seemed to take care of that fairly well on its own.

But on top of that, this was _Sokka_. The gorgeous, master strategist. A Water Tribe Chieftain’s son with perfect skin and crystal blue eyes. The inventor of underwater vessels and partially of hot air balloons. A genius. . .and a dork.

Zuko shook his head and chuckled at the thought that anyone like Sokka would actually have a crush on _him_.

The mere thought was laughable.

He tilted his head back and gazed up at the cracking ceiling above. The problem was, if Sokka wasn’t acting weird because he had a crush, then why _was_ Sokka acting like that?

Had Zuko done something wrong?

Maybe he had somehow made things awkward between them at the prison and just couldn’t remember it. He chewed his lip. Maybe that was it. He’d done something stupid or said something cruel in one of his hazes and had ended up making things awkward between them. Typical.

He had to have messed things up.

He _always_ messed things up.

_Zuko._

Zuko jerked, back straight as a rod at the whisper in his ear.

_Prince Zuko._

He glanced around the small room, already knowing that there was no one there. His heart ran like a toad-rabbit in his chest and he bit his cheek down forcibly, relishing in the grounding taste of blood. There was nothing there. There was no voice-

_Useless Prince._

He scrambled to his feet at the sound of the second hiss. Eyes wide, he bolted for the door. He didn’t have time to deal with this today. He wouldn’t- he couldn’t-

_You’re a disappointment to me._

The loud raucous of the Gaang’s voices did have one good resource for Zuko actually: distraction.

He automatically plotted a course towards the group’s location.

Zuko had a protocol now. Whenever he heard. . .things, he would throw himself into the middle of a boisterous conversation. Being around others helped ground him. Their voices helped block out whatever this thing was that was wrong with him.

He was just short of sprinting by the time he came out to the campfire. The joyous cries and friendly banter instantly warmed his bones and he swallowed thickly while trying to slow his breath.

_Traitor._

He was fine. It was fine.

-0-0-0-0-0-

_SOKKA POV_

Sokka was being awkward.

He knew this. He _knew_ this.

But- he couldn’t really help himself.

Okay, yes, he was worried about Zuko. A lot. All the time. Ever since they got back from prison, Sokka had been hovering over him. It had been two weeks, and Katara had said that after his two healing sessions that he would back to normal. Everything should be fine.

But it _wasn’t_.

Zuko wasn’t eating hardly at all. He picked at his food and sometimes just straight up forgot to come to meals. He also wasn’t sleeping. Like. Ever. And on the rare times that he did sleep, the boy had loud and terrible nightmares. Basically, he just was not taking care of himself. Or not remembering to.

In addition to that, Zuko was really spacy sometimes. Sokka would look over at him during a conversation and the guy would just be _gone_. But only for a second. Then he’d snap back into himself and act as though nothing happened. It honestly scared the crap out of Sokka. It wasn't normal.

Okay. Maybe Sokka was acting a little stalkerish. Sue him. He was worried. Zuko clearly wasn’t taking care of himself, so until the Prince decided to open up about what was going on, Sokka would help take care of the guy himself instead. He'd look out for Zuko.

Which- was a lot harder than Sokka thought it would be.

Namely because of the overwhelming crush that he was now harboring for the skinny jerkbender.

That was a problem all unto its own, as Sokka was quickly finding out. It felt like every day for the past two weeks there was something new to notice about Zuko. For example, when did his hair get so soft? Why are his eyes suddenly so bright and golden all the time? Like honey shining with fresh dew. . .

When did he start being so gentle with Toph?

Has he always been that understanding with Aang’s hyperness?

When did he start cooking such good meals?

Has he always been this smart and funny with that dry sarcasm?

Sokka sighed. It probably didn’t help his crush by mentally going through his list of Why Zuko Is Freaking Adorable all the time. But, hey, it was hard not to do.

So yes, looking out for Zuko was being slightly hindered and making Sokka act extremely awkward and weird. But it was _fine_. He didn’t think that Zuko had even noticed that he was acting strange. He probably thought Sokka was completely normal. Totally fine. Besides, Zuko's wellbeing was the priority here. Not Sokka's crush. The crush could wait.

Sokka poked at his breakfast with his chopsticks and frowned. He really wished that Zuko had decided to come out to get breakfast this morning. The boy really needed the fuel. He honestly looked a bit like crap when Sokka had crashed in on his meditation moment.

Sokka forced his scowl down; however, and mentally rejoined the conversation. He didn’t want to call attention to his wandering thoughts by not participating in morning banter.

“Are you sure this is meat, Katara?”

“Toph, for the last time. I did _not_ drop my sandals in the pot this morning!”

“Well if _this_ meat tastes like a sandal, what does that say about _your_ seasoning skills?”

“Just because you’re blind doesn’t mean you have to be a bitch!”

“Yeah, well just because _you’re_ a bitch doesn’t mean you can’t make edible food!”

Hakoda approached the campfire with a long-suffering look on his face that made it clear he’d been hearing this conversation since its beginning an hour ago.

The Chief made eye contact with Sokka and crossed his eyes dramatically from across the fire. Sokka bit down a chuckle and handed his father a bowl of the in-questioned meal.

Hakoda hesitantly took a bite of the meat, gaze bouncing between Katara and Toph, before he suddenly winced as the taste set in. He chewed slowly before sending a desperate look to Sokka who just grinned and took the last bite of his own meat.

“Seasoning is hard to come by and-“

“SPARKY!”

Everyone looked up to see a suddenly frozen Zuko who was standing at the entrance from a nearby hall.

“Sparky, come sit by me! We need you to fully take over meals from now on-”

“HEY!”

“Sparky is a million times better at cooking than you and you know it!” Toph snapped, glaring right back in the general direction of the waterbender.

Zuko shifted his feet awkwardly, looking for a moment as though he’d turn around and run away. They watched, suddenly silently, as he took a hesitant step forward, clearly not sure how to not choose a side and incur the wrath of one of the girls.

“Zuko, there’s an open spot over here if you’d like.”

Sokka sent his father a grateful look as Zuko’s shoulders relaxed and he moved to sit next to Hakoda quickly.

“Hey! Does anyone want to see Momo’s new trick that I taught him??”

Everyone settled back into a calmer rhythm of conversation as Aang plopped Momo in the middle of the circle and showed off his new handstand skills. Sokka was grateful for the distraction from the earlier tensions and let his gaze wander over to the huddled form next to his father.

Zuko looked tired. Strike that. Zuko looked _exhausted_. As in, hasn’t slept in days, exhausted. And his jawline was too sharp and his has hands were shaking slightly. Sokka chewed his lip and looked down at his empty bowl in thought. Surely there was some way that he could help.

“Hey, bird-for-brains!”

“Huh?”

Toph threw a pebble at his ear, “Teo’s trying to talk to you. Get Appa’s fur out of your ears, would ya?”

Sokka glared at her before clearing his throat and turned to Teo, eyebrows raised in question.

“Uh. . .I just-“ Teo laughed nervously, “Okay so let me start from the beginning. When we first got here, I managed to get to that nearby village and send a message to my cousin in the Earth Kingdom. He does a lot of intelligence work for the Earth Kingdom’s scouting operations.” Teo scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, “I asked him if he knew where they were keeping my Dad. . .”

Everyone was silent.

“Last night, when I and Haru dropped back into the village for those spices, I found out that he had sent a reply.” A broad grin washed over Teo’s face, “He actually thinks he found out where they’re keeping him! There’s a prison ship just off of Death Mountain Island. He thinks some of the others might be kept there as well!”

“Bato.” Hakoda breathed out quietly.

“I bet my Dad is there as well!” Haru grinned like a seal-pup during mealtime.

“And Pipsqueak!” The Duke chimed in, jumping up and down.

“Exactly!” Teo turned back to Sokka and the others, “So I guess my question is. . .can we bust them out too?”

The amount of hope in Teo’s eyes was suffocating Sokka’s human reasoning, he didn’t even hesitate before nodding, “Of course we can.” Everyone else quickly agreed and the resulting excitement flooded the campsite with whoops and hollering.

“I guess we better start packing then!” Toph grinned, “Sorry Twinkle Toes, guess you’re going to be having lessons on the go for the next few days.”

Aang just shrugged, “It’ll help me get used to practicing on new terrains.”

“Are we all going on this rescue mission?”

Zuko’s gentle question hung in the air for a moment without a response.

Sokka’s first instinct is to shout _NO_ at the top of his lungs. The idea of Zuko being anywhere near another prison gave him the premonitions of a coronary. There was no way he was putting Zuko in harm’s way like that again. No. Absolutely not. NO-

“Heck yeah! The more there are of us, the easier it’ll be to take that ship down!” Haru’s voice sliced into Sokka chest like an ax through a pile of kindling.

Hakoda and Suki exchanged hesitant glances with Sokka from their positions around the fire. Clearly, Sokka wasn’t the only one thinking back to what happened at Boiling Rock. They’d all seen the way Zuko had been tortured. Heard his screams when he hung from his wrists in the prison yard. That wasn’t an experience any of them would soon forget. The others didn’t understand. By the time they had gotten back, Zuko was barely alive. He could hardly breathe, let alone scream and thrash at the mercy of terrorizing hallucinations. They never heard his screams. . .

Sokka swallowed. Asides from Zuko, both Hakoda and Suki had actually been imprisoned there themselves. The idea of being in another fire nation prison probably made them sick. Sokka opened his mouth to protest.

“You’re totally right Haru!” Aang’s voice popped in out of nowhere. “The Duke and Teo can be our lookouts while the rest of us sneak in and start a riot! It’ll work, I just know it! It’ll be like when we saved Haru and his Dad the first time!”

The sound of agreeing voices signified the last of Sokka’s hope. He looked over to his Dad. The Chief was clearly torn with the internal battle going on inside him. On the one hand, the man did not want to be anywhere near another prison as long as he lived, let alone bring Zuko into that line of fire with him. But yet, if he had the chance to rescue Bato. . . Hakoda nodded his approval to Aang.

Sokka tried not to feel betrayed, but he understood. His Dad and Bato were close, really close, it made sense. Sokka looked over to Suki as she gave Aang a fake smile and agreed. When she looked back to Sokka though, her eyes were filled with fear.

Zuko simply stared into the fire and nodded slowly.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_ZUKO POV_

“Hey, uh hey. Buddy. How’s the packing going?”

Zuko glanced up from his bag and cocked his head, it reminded Sokka of a bird, “Why do you keep calling me buddy?”

Sokka’s face blushed bright red, “I-I don’t know-”

“Well don’t. It’s weird.” Zuko mumbled under his breath. When he noticed Sokka’s dejected look he mentally kicked himself. He was supposed to be _fixing_ things with Sokka not making them _worse_. Agni, he really needed to work on his social skills, “Um, the uh- the packing is going good, thanks for asking.” Zuko forced a smile on his face. “Since we’ll only be gone for a few days there’s not much needed to bring.”

Zuko could physically see Sokka perk up at the verbal peace offering and the other boy’s face practically beamed. “That’s true! Poor Appa, if he had to carry all of us _and_ all our equipment, we’d probably break the big guy’s back!”

Zuko tied off his pack and chuckled, “Just imagine if Chit Sang was still here. That guy alone would be too heavy for Appa’s carry.”

“Right?! Dude was built like a solid cement brick!”

“Mhm, a human-shaped brick.” Zuko nodded sagely.

“A very _large_ human-shaped brick.”

“Indeed.”

When Zuko looked back up, he thought for sure someone had just stabbed his lung. Sokka was looking at him with a big dopey smile on his face, blue eyes wide and laughing. And his face was close, too close. Zuko’s heart stuttered at the sight.

Huh. That’s weird.

Zuko cleared his throat of the mysterious and sudden dryness, moving to stand up and sling the pack over his shoulder. He gestured towards the door and took a step forward only to have Sokka’s hand shoot out and grab his shoulder. The Water Tribe boy’s face suddenly grew serious.

“Wait. I actually wanted to talk to you for a second. Are you. . .are you okay? With all of this?” Sokka’s voice seemed almost gentle. Caring. Zuko didn’t know what to do with that.

“Of course. I want to help you all get your friends back.”

“No, that’s not-“ Sokka tilted his head, “Look, it’s just that me, Suki, and Dad are all a little bit on edge with the idea of diving head-first back into a Fire Nation prison.” Zuko stilled. “I just wanted to make sure that you knew that it’s okay if you’re nervous too. If you wanted to stay here, I’m sure Suki would be more than happy to keep you company and have an excuse not to go as well.”

_Your heart is just full of cowardice, isn’t it?_

Zuko felt a shiver run down his spine at the breathy whisper that echoed in the room.

“Zuko?”

“Hmm?” Zuko blinked twice and focused back on Sokka’s puzzled face, “Oh, uh, no that’s okay. I’ll be fine. And besides,” Zuko started walking out the door with Sokka following quickly, “Aang is going, and I’ve given him enough breaks as it is. I have to stop slacking off as his firebending instructor.”

“Slacking-off. . . you- Zuko you almost _died!_ ”

“That’s not an excuse.”

“Yes, it is!” Sokka stepped firmly in front of him, body blocking his method of exit. Zuko didn’t want to talk about this. He felt like crap enough as it was without Sokka dragging up his short failings. He _knew_ that taking that trip to Boiling Rock had put Aang behind, even if he had left him with homework. Then after he’d gotten back, Zuko had spent the next four more days sleeping before he was well enough to train Aang again.

He was making a lazy impression of a teacher. And he was teaching the _avatar._ It wasn’t acceptable.

“Zuko. . .” Again with the soft voice, Zuko gritted his teeth, “You know that we aren’t just letting you stay with us because you’re Aang’s teacher right? You’re one of us now. You’ve gotta stop beating yourself up like this.”

“That’s funny coming from you.” Zuko muttered.

“What do you mean?”

Sokka’s back was stiff and Zuko instantly regretted the words. Or maybe he didn’t. Right now would probably be a good time to start helping Sokka as a _friend_ should. Sokka was a nice guy, Zuko owed him some comfort.

“Look, I’m just saying that you beat yourself up all the time. Everything that goes wrong, you think it's your fault.” Zuko tried to keep his voice soft, but honestly, he had no idea how to initiate a heart-to-heart, that was always Uncle’s job. . .Uncle. . . “That’s why we went to Boiling Rock in the first place. You felt so guilty about losing the invasion force that you threw yourself into a suicide mission on the very slim chance that you might be able to save your dad.”

Sokka looked away.

“I also know that’s why you agreed with Teo on doing this mission now. You feel guilty about the others being captured. You think it’s your fault.” Zuko gently reached out and touched Sokka’s arm in what he hoped was comforting, he still had no idea what he was doing, “You carry the world on your shoulders and hide it with a smile. But not everything is your fault, okay?” Zuko patted him awkwardly, “Sometimes life is just messed up, all on its own.”

Sokka let out a sound half-way between a chuckle and a sob.

“Thanks.” He whispered.

“Yeah, uh. No problem.” Zuko gave him one more awkward pat and scurried off to find the others. He really didn’t know how to do the whole _kindness_ thing, but he hoped that maybe Sokka wouldn’t hate him so much now.

Or maybe he would hate him _more_. Zuko did just call out Sokka’s greatest insecurities. Did he just make things worse?

Zuko’s head pounded.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_HAKODA POV_

“Snoozles, are we almost there yet?”

Hakoda smothered his grin at the collective groans at Toph asking that question for the fourteenth time in the last hour.

“Toooph.” Sokka rolled his eyes. The specific eye-roll that made Sokka look like he was about to join the spirit world by will alone. Hakoda knew that eye-roll well.

“What?! It’s a valid question!”

“Not on the _twenty-seventh_ time!”

Ah. Twenty-seven times in the last hour, Hakoda amended.

It was strange to him. Suddenly being surrounded solely by children all day and every day was not a circumstance that Hakoda was used to. He had spent the last two and a half years with a hardened crew of Water Tribe men. Stuck on a small wooden ship with a bunch of smelly sailors.

He wasn’t even in charge here either. Even though he was currently the only adult in the group. Thanks for the ditch, Chit Sang.

No, that honor mostly went to Sokka, which of course made Hakoda proud as a mother turtle-duck. To see Sokka flourish in leadership, setting up an entire invasion at only fifteen? It was amazing. Then there was Katara. He’d seen her fighting at the invasion. It was an incredible feat of waterbending mastery. At least from what he could tell. She was also extremely talented as a healer, after seeing the way she helped Zuko.

Hakoda felt a shiver run down his spine at the memory of Zuko barely breathing for hours in that fountain. There was also the many hours beforehand on the airship when Hakoda took his shifts watching over the dying boy. The Chief swallowed thickly.

Right now, Zuko was currently tucked against the saddle edge right beside Hakoda. His knees tucked uptight and his hand death-gripping the saddle almost as much as Toph currently was. The boy looked tired and traumatized. Like there was a dark spirit haunting his every step that no one else could see. He’d seen that look in the eyes of many warriors. But it had been a while since it had been in someone so young.

It was an odd thing, but ever since they had returned from Boiling Rock, Hakoda had often found himself glancing down to see Zuko stuck to his side. No talking, no conversation. Just _there_.

Honestly, Hakoda had thought that his own presence would bring up some. . .father issues. . . with Zuko. But for whatever reason, Zuko had decided to ignore those traumas and simply attached himself to Hakoda instead. Hakoda knew that he hadn’t known the boy very long, but there’s a special kind of bonding that comes from escaping a prison together and almost seeing the other person die in your arms.

That was a feeling the Hakoda was familiar with and he hated it with his very spirit.

He wished he knew how to look out for Zuko. How to help the boy heal, because clearly, he was struggling with a lot of things right now. Though half of them were probably hidden from everyone.

Hakoda sighed.

Bato would know what to do in this situation.

Bato. . .

Hakoda missed his friend. His _best_ friend.

Bato and him had the kind of trust that was forged deep and unbreakable through time and hardship. Bato and him had grown up together as kids. Bato had been at his wedding to Kya and had helped him take Sokka on the boy’s first polar-deer hunt.

Bato had also been there when their ship got attacked last year by pirates, he was there when they buried ten of their crewmen at sea. He was there to help Hakoda scrub the blood out of his tunic afterward when Hakoda’s hands had started shaking too much to even hold a brush.

When he and Bato had been separated after they’d all been captured after the invasion, Hakoda felt like someone had stabbed a knife in his chest and gutted him from the inside out. He’ll never forget the look of strength in Bato’s eyes crack as they dragged him away.

Hakoda put his head in his hands closed his eyes tight.

He prayed to the spirits for Bato to be okay.

“. . .Um. Chief Hakoda, sir?”

The man looked up slowly to see Zuko beside him offering out something in his hand. A piece of dried seal jerky. The boy’s face was understanding and gentle, and it made Hakoda want to cry.

He took the jerky and smiled slightly, “Thank you, Zuko.”

Zuko nodded silently.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_SUKI POV_

Suki glared down at her disassembled tent. It had been quite a while since she’d had to pitch a tent outside and at the moment her out-of-use skills seemed to be mocking her. She frowned and grabbed at one of the long sticks to hold up the front, stabbed it into the ground, and draped the blanket over the top.

There. A tent.

“Hmm. Is this some modern architecture design that the kids are using these days?”

Suki stuck out her tongue at Sokka in retort. “Yes, actually. Yes, it is.”

Sokka grinned toothily back at her, “Well, in that case, I guess I must be pretty out of the loop then. . .” He gestured smugly to his perfectly pitched tent standing erect and solid only a few feet away.

Suki huffed and elbowed him in the ribs playfully.

“Ouch!”

“If that actually hurt then I truly pity your low pain tolerance.” Suki retorted with a grin.

Sokka pouted for a moment before finally giving in and helping Suki redo her tent. Properly this time.

Truthfully, when Sokka and Suki had decided to make their relationship more friendship-based, Sokka had thought that things would be awkward between them. But no. They weren’t awkward. Like at all. Sokka had been astounded at how easily they had shifted into best-friend mode and how well the new title fitted them.

Sokka had missed his friend.

Even if she was terrible at pitching a tent.

“Hey, Sokka?”

“Hmm?”

Suki frowned in thought for a moment as she hammered another support pole into the ground. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about. And maybe this isn’t the best time right now but-“

Oh. Oh no. . .

“Sokka? What was the name of the poison that the Warden gave Zuko?”

“W-Wait, what?”

That. Was not what he had been expecting. Sokka looked at Suki curiously, “Why do you want to know that?”

Suki shifted to a more comfortable crouched position and lowered her voice, “Look, I know that that whole situation was very traumatic for you, for all of us actually. But I’m worried about something and I need you to remember. It’s important. What was the poison called?”

“Um. . .” Sokka winced at the flood of memories. Suki was right, this really wasn’t something he wanted to be thinking about. “Uh, I think it was called Doku- uh, Dokushin? I think.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Suki, what’s going on?”

Suki sighed and rubbed a hand through her hair, “It’s just. I was thinking about the whole situation the other day. And I remember thinking that it was really strange that the Warden had used poison on Zuko, and such a terrifying one at that. A Fire Nation prison has a million different ways of torturing prisoners, every nation does actually. The Earth Kingdom crushes people’s hands, the Fire Nation locks people in coolers. But hardly anyone uses poison. It’s too dangerous and erratic and only really used for assassinations.”

“Okay. . .” Sokka felt his voice shake.

“Sokka, on one of my missions with the Kyoshi Warriors, we came across this. . .this _cult_. . . I guess would be the right word. They were an underground cult that had no affiliations to any nation. But they specialized in experimenting in poisons.”

“Poisons like Dokushin?” His voice felt hoarse.

“Yes. The guards had seemed wary about giving it to Zuko so they must have known what it was, maybe they had seen the Warden use it before.”

“You think this cult is working with the Fire Nation now? Providing them with deadly poisons?”

“. . .Maybe not just the Fire Nation.” Suki mused.

Sokka sunk to the floor and looked over to the others that were chattering about chores and what to make for dinner on the other side of camp. “This isn’t good news.” He made eye-contact with Zuko for a moment before turning back to Suki with his cheeks blushing and she raised an eyebrow curiously. “We’ll talk to the others about this after we rescue Bato and the rest of them. We’ll reach the ship by tomorrow so for now let’s just focus on the rescue mission.”

“Okay.” Suki nodded quickly, “One problem at a time, right?”

“Right. . .” Sokka glanced back over to Zuko and felt his ears go red, “One problem at a time. . .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, that was a lot of info to unpack. But hey, First Chapter done! Yay! I apologize if this chapter really had a lot going on, there’s a lot of characters in this fic and I just wanted to make sure that everyone got a moment and all the issues were addressed. This way I can now be more focused in the following chapters and not feel like I’m ignoring stuff.
> 
> And yes. Zuko and Sokka are dum boys, but we love them and protect them. It’ll be okay.
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it. Please leave a comment below to let me know what you thought! I love hearing from you all!
> 
> [Also, yes, we sail the Bakoda ship in these waters, you are welcome.]
> 
> THE CHAINS THAT BREAK YOU: SUMMARY  
> [ While rescuing Hakoda in Boiling Rock, Zuko is taken and tortured by the Warden. He is given a deadly poison that causes severe hallucinations. Zuko is mentally trapped in a constant cycle of horrors inflicted by Ozai and the disappointment of his mother. It takes a while, but Zuko finally overcomes his fear of failing his nation and faces his nightmares head on. Meanwhile, Sokka is freaking out and falling hard for Zuko. Hakoda grows to care for Zuko while he takes care of him on their way back to Katara. Katara manages to heal Zuko while he is on death's door and decides to forgive Zuko and let go of her own hate.]


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for angst and self-deprecating thoughts.

_ ZUKO POV _

Zuko usually reveled in silence.

Growing up, silence was a sign of peace. No one yelling, no one criticizing. Just solitude and calm that would wrap its soft arms around a young Zuko in the dead of night. After his mother had left, Zuko would sneak under his bed at night and lay with his ear against the floor so he could hear if someone was approaching. Assassins, Azula, Father, there could have been any late-night visitor that would instill fear in him. But the silence of the floorboards soothed him. He was alone.

After he got his scar, he sought refuge in his room on the ship. Away from the roaring whispers of his crew, the gossiping tongues of his officers and the constant creaking of metal against metal as the sea tossed them about like a child’s toy. He ran off to hide in the silence of his empty room, to be embraced by silence’s comforting embrace.

The silence of solitude used to mean comfort.

But now things were different.

Now, silence is where the nightmares lived.

Where Ozai lived.

Silence imprisoned him.

_I will always be with you, Prince Zuko. Like a tiger in the shadows, I will wait and watch for your every mistake, your every failure._

Zuko rolled onto his back, shutting his eyes tight.

_Perhaps someday you’ll actually turn into a real man. Perhaps you’ll turn into me. . ._

He clapped his hands forcibly over his ears.

_You’ll never be rid of me, Prince Zuko. I burned myself into you, your visage is a reflection of my power._

He couldn’t do this tonight. Zuko sat up like a spring and darted out of his tent. He just wanted his peace back, he wanted his silence. But now silence made the voices so much louder. His Father’s voice was so much louder. It pounded in his skull, _inside_ his _skull._ There was no running from it, there was no hiding under the bed.

Zuko made his way towards the center of camp, the dying embers of a campfire lighting like a beacon. Normally, he would run off into the night, get as far away from people as possible. But this- this was different. Being alone in the woods with his Father’s voice would be the worst thing possible.

_Good. You are right to be scared of me._

He squatted down by the embers, hands still covering his ears, the pounding in his head growing loud, deafening, roaring. It wouldn’t stop. His Father laughed now, laughing at his pathetic son. His son who had thought he’d beaten his demons back in that prison. His son who lived with a voice of hate ringing like a gong in his ears.

_Useless. Pathetic. Traitor-_

It needed to stop. Just stop. Please stop. Please stop. Stop-stop-stop-stop. _Please-_

Zuko’s head jerked up.

He heard a sound.

A sound not filled with words of self-deprecation or condemnation. The sound of something else. Something deep.

He carefully lowered his hands from their death grip on his ears. He tilted his head to listen, the pounding in his head made it hard to hear. Hard to focus. For a moment there was nothing. No sound but a few trace whispers in his head.

Then he heard it again.

He glanced over to his right, Sokka’s tent. It was coming from Sokka’s tent.

Zuko glanced around the camp curiously before focusing back on Sokka’s tent and the deep sound coming from within. He rose from his crouch and silently ghosted over to the opening of the tent. Gently, he took the corner of the flap and lifted it slightly to peek inside.

Sokka slept soundly.

But Sokka also hummed while sleeping soundly.

Zuko’s eyes widening as he listened to the sound, now quite clear and discernable, that came from Sokka’s throat. A low hum, deep and sweet like syrup. It felt as a soothing balm on Zuko’s ears. The melody sounded a little out of tune, but it was soft and calming.

It felt sweeter than any silence he had known.

Zuko folded his legs quietly and laid down on the ground in front of Sokka’s tent.

The humming reminded him of a lullaby but stronger and safer. So pure. So protecting.

Closing his eyes to focus fully on the sleeping hum, his heart stopped its mad race and his breathing began to slow. After a few minutes the pounding in his head had almost completely gone, the aches in his body muting.

He pillowed his arms under his head and rolled onto his left side so he could hear with his good ear. Every once in a while the humming would stutter out into a snore for a few minutes before returning to its melody.

Zuko sighed softly and let his body relax to the sound of the nearby tune.

And as Zuko finally drifted off to sleep, the only voice in his ears was the Sokka’s gentle humming.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_ SOKKA’S POV _

“Sokka!”

“Mph.”

“Come onnnn, Snoozles! Wake up already!”

“Mm.” Sokka physically pried his eyes open and shifted to look at the entrance of his tent before groaning loudly and dropping his face back into his pillow. “Toph. Go. Away.” His words were slurred from sleep and muffled from the fact that he was currently face down on the ground.

“Time to get up!”

“No.”

Toph kicked him in the shin, _hard_ , and he let out another, much louder, groan. “Up! Up! Zuko and Aang have been firebending since dawn, Suki and Katara went hunting for food to stock up, Haru and Teo and Pipsqueak are playing with Appa, and your Dad is already working on breakfast!”

Sokka peeked his head out to glare at her, “So you’re waking me up ‘cause you’re bored.”

Toph put her hands on her hips and smirked, “Yes. I am. And I’m also waking you up cause I need a training dummy to throw big rocks at. Now, wake up!” Toph slammed her foot down with a thud, sending the earth under Sokka’s stomach to pop up suddenly which immediately sent him flying into the air.

Sokka groaned in pain as he hit the ground, “Whyyyy? Why would you _do_ that?” Toph just turned around and left, not bothering to respond. “What do you people have against sleep? Huh?”

Sokka scratched his head drowsily as he stumbled out into the sunlight. The birds sang just a little too loudly for early-morning Sokka to appreciate and the wind was adopting a habit of wiping his loose hair into his eyes. Overall, though, Sokka appreciated the atmosphere that came with getting up this early before breakfast.

Rolling his shoulders in a half-cat-like stretch, feeling the muscles pop and release of tension, Sokka actually felt pretty well-rested. He’d had pleasant dreams last night, vaguely remembering something involving soft music. It was a nice break from the usual plague of nightmares and guilt that would creep into Sokka’s mind at night.

He squinted towards Agni for a moment before catching sight of his Dad cutting up vegetables off to his right. He cracked his neck in one last satisfying ‘pop’, finally accepting his fate of being awake for the day, and headed towards the food being prepared. Maybe he could sneak a couple of strips of jerky-

“Nuh-uh. No side-tracking.”

Toph grabbed him by the wrist and started pulling him towards the tree line.

“Aw come on! I’m hungry!”

The short earthbender rolled her unseeing eyes, “News flash Snoozles: you’re always hungry.” She whacked him hard in the softer part of his stomach.

“Ow! We haven’t even started sparring yet and you’re already abusing me.” Sokka grumbled.

“Just prepping you.”

Sokka was saved a response as they came upon the open clearing apparently designated as today’s training ground.

He immediately spotted Zuko and Aang working on firebending katas on the far side of the clearing. The two of them seem extremely focused until Aang caught sight of them and started waving excitedly, “HI GUYS!!” Zuko turned and looked over at them, sending an awkward little half-wave to Sokka.

Sokka’s heart jumped.

For the next few minutes, the day continued smoothly. Zuko helped Aang work on a new series of forms, and Toph threw at Sokka who was learning very quickly how to dodge giant flying objects. The four of them set into a rhythm of training and it felt nice. Sokka wished he trained with Zuko instead of Toph, but it was still nice.

Until it wasn’t.

The first warning of danger was when Toph suddenly dropped her rocks and stood stock-still. Sokka then straightened instinctually on high alert as she tilted her head frowned deeply, “Guys. . . “

The second warning came when they hear a deafening roar coming from the tree line. The tree line only a few feet away from where Sokka was standing. He heard the pounding of hooves and saw the trees shake in front of him.

The next part happened too fast for Sokka to process, but Zuko would remember it perfectly in the days to come.

Within two seconds, Sokka watched, frozen in fear, as a giant male sabretooth-moose-lion burst from the trees, charging straight for Sokka. It was massive and hulking with its tusks gleaming in the morning sun.

The great beast rammed its head into Sokka’s relatively small body at speed of a full gallop. Sokka felt the impact of a mountain against his entire left side, he felt the air flutter through his loose hair much like it had earlier that day as he flew through the air, and he felt the world slam him in darkness as his head cracked into a solid oak tree.

“SOKKA!!”

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_ AANG’S POV _

The sound of Zuko’s scream chilled straight down his spine like pure ice. It was desperate, it was panicked, and it was freaking the crap out of Aang.

Aang and Toph started sprinting towards Sokka, but they were all the way on the other side of the field, Zuko had been on Sokka’s side, he was closest.

The young avatar watched in horror as Toph’s rocks were batted away by the beast’s antlers as though they were puffs of dust. The beast stood over Sokka’s prone form like an executioner enjoying his slaughter.

Aang knew he needed to do something. He needed throw stones like Toph was or send a whirlwind of air to keep the beast away. But he couldn’t. His insides were freezing and numb and all he could do was run. Run faster, run faster. Sokka wasn’t moving, and Aang was so scared.

He watched in horror as the beast bared its teeth and let out another mighty roar. He jerked his great head and swung down his antlers for a killing strike on his unconscious victim.

“SOKKA NO!!”

And then there was fire.

It was. . .beautiful.

Aang watching in awe as a column of rainbow fire struck into the side of the sabretooth-moose-lion, sending sparks of reds, blues, and greens into the air. The column struck again, stronger and faster, the fire within burning hot and bright. The beast stumbled back and whipped its head to look down at Zuko.

The other boy had firmly placed himself in the space between Sokka and the beast. Zuko used his breath fire to create a wall of flames in front of the beast, black smoke twisting with the beautiful flame colors like a painter’s blend of light and darkness.

The beast finally let out one last roar of anger before turning away and crashing back into the forest.

“Thank La.”

As Toph and Aang skidded to a stop beside them, Aang noticed how Zuko’s body shook and trembled as sweat slid down his stunned face. Zuko looked to be in shock, like his brain felt incapable of catching up with his eyes. He swayed slightly on his feet.

“D’d y’u jus’ ‘ake _rain’ow fir’_?”

Zuko whirled on his heels and dropped to his knees, “Sokka! Are you okay??”

“Mhmm. M’ head ‘urts. . .”

Toph shifted her feet and nodded, “That thing is gone, for now, we should take you back to camp, Katara will be back by now and she’ll be able to heal your hard-ass head. Good as new.” Aang nodded his agreement, eyes still scanning the trees just in case.

His heart was still pounding in his chest, and the sense of fear was fading but only slowly.

Zuko’s hands still shook.

His fingers danced nervously over Sokka’s chest, wanting to check for broken ribs but not wanting to touch. His eyes were focused like a hawk-crow on Sokka’s glazed expression, and worry creeping into his features.

“Yeah, I’ll- I’ll carry Sokka back to camp.” He started to slide his arms under Sokka’s knees and back, gently pulling the other boy into him. Aang thought it was the gentlest he had ever seen Zuko act. It was an odd concept, but definitely a welcome one. Aang liked seeing his friend not be full of anger all the time.

“No need Sparky. We got this.” Toph stomped her foot into the earth and a rock platform sprang up underneath the four of them, “Help me scoot this back to camp, Twinkle Toes.”

Aang nodded quickly, he wished he had helped more before, but at least this was something.

The platform took off towards the camp.

Zuko didn’t release his grip on Sokka.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_ HAKODA’S POV _

For a loving father, one of the most terrifying moments in life is to see his child hurt. It doesn’t matter if it is a broken finger or a fatal stab wound to the stomach. The same guilt of failing to protect, the same panic of not having control. In his head, Hakoda knew that his children could take a punch and were strong fighters. But his heart acknowledged no such facts.

So, at the moment when Hakoda spotted Toph and Aang plowing a platform of earth into camp, when he saw Sokka unconscious in Zuko’s shaking arms, Hakoda panicked.

There was a roaring in his ears as he and Katara dashed towards Sokka, taking in the closed eyes and the bruised cheeks of his son. He skidded to a kneel beside him, hands hovering and unsure. Hakoda looked up to meet Zuko’s eyes and was only slightly shocked to see them strained with concern.

“He’s okay.” Zuko’s voice was quiet with tremors that wracked both voice and frame, “He’s- he’s okay, it’s just a concussion and bruised ribs.” The hoarse sound grated painfully on Hakoda’s ears.

Katara nodded in agreement, hands now coated in shiny water that roamed over Sokka’s chest and skull. She worked on him efficiently in a communal silence for the next ten minutes before finally looking up, “He’ll be fine in a couple of minutes, let’s bring him back to his tent so he can nap off the rest till we leave, I’ll save him some breakfast for later.”

When no one moved Katara looked over to Hakoda, his mouth was still tight and grim. He hadn’t seen his son hurt in many years; it wasn’t something he had missed. “Dad. He’s okay.” Hakoda made eye-contact with her and nodded.

He moved to scoop him up but noticed Zuko tensing his grip on Sokka’s back. The boy hesitated a moment, clearly fighting down a deep instinct to protect, then he looked away and shifted Sokka into Hakoda’s waiting arms.

Hakoda lifted Sokka up with ease, a father’s embrace giving strength to his growing calm. Everything was okay. He was okay.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_ ZUKO POV _

There was a silent splurge of chill that kept running up and down his spine, like a racing cheetah-lynx trying to hunt down its first meal. The adrenaline had worn off a while ago, almost as soon as the fight had ended, and ever since then, Zuko couldn’t stop feeling so _worried._ There was a nervous energy that buzzed in his body constantly; it was driving him insane.

Why was he so worried? Katara had healed Sokka, said he was fine. Only a concussion and some bruised ribs. He would even be good enough to fight in the rescue mission tomorrow. A little bumped, a little bruised, but _fine_.

So why did Zuko still feel so worried?

He still wasn’t used to the whole ‘having friends that aren’t around because of Azula’ thing. The only friends he had had growing up were Ty Lee and Mai, and Zuko was convinced that they had only stuck around because of Azula. So technically this was the first time Zuko had acquired his own _friends._

And Sokka was his _friend._ Which was a far more pleasant concept than it should have been.

Except.

It was different. Seeing Sokka getting attacked by that beast, it was _terrifying_. His unconscious body laying on the ground. Not moving. . .

Zuko scrubbed at his face harshly.

He didn’t understand the fear that had come over him at that moment, it was so . . . _irrational_. He had created that multi-colored fire like Ran and Sha, it didn’t make sense. He should not have been able to do that. To bend like that. But he had.

Zuko was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice Hakoda sitting down beside him.

“Zuko?”

The Prince jumped, unconsciously scooting away before his mind caught up and he settled back down. Pointedly ignoring Hakoda’s look of concern, Zuko darted his eyes over to Sokka’s tent, “How’s he doing?”

“Sokka’s just sleeping, he’ll be okay now.” Hakoda bumped Zuko’s shoulder lightly, fatherly almost. “Hey, Zuko? He’s alright. You don’t need to worry.”

Zuko knew that. He did. With his head.

But his chest was still tight and he couldn’t understand _why he cared so much._ It was a scary thought, being that vulnerable for someone. Zuko had been abandoned by so many people in his life, he had hoped to have learned his lesson by now. Apparently, Sokka was the exception to that rule. Zuko paused and side-eyed the man sitting next to him. Maybe Hakoda was an exception too, though of a different kind.

“Zuko, Aang told me about what happened in that field.”

Zuko tensed. Hakoda’s going to be mad he didn't protect him more, didn’t stop that thing sooner-

“Zuko look at me.”

He felt a calloused hand gently touch under his chin, his eyes looked over of their own accord. Yet he didn’t find anger of bitterness as expected. Hakoda’s eyes were soft and. . . proud? That didn’t seem right.

“Thank you.” That. . . wasn’t. . . right. Zuko’s brain stuttered. “Aang told me what happened back there. And he- he told me what would have happened if you hadn’t-“ The older man cleared his throat and looked him straight in the eye, a position which would normally make Zuko terrified, “You saved my son’s life. I cannot thank you enough.”

“S’nothing. . . I, um-“

“Zuko, I offer you a life debt.”

Well, that didn’t sit right at all. “Chief Hakoda, sir, you and Sokka both saved my life numerous times back at- at the prison, so it’s not anything-“

“That doesn’t negate my gratitude, Zuko.”

He didn’t know what to do with this. With a father _thanking him_ , for saying he did _something right_. That didn’t sit well at all. His stomach started churning and something twisted inside him. He wanted to believe Hakoda, believe he did good. That he _is_ good. But there were too many years, too many of messing up, of being punished, of letting people down. He didn’t understand.

_You will never be good enough to deserve a father’s love._

“Zuko?”

“Hm?” His eyes refocused but the whisper still felt cold on his left ear and a flash of long black hair floated past his peripheral vision.

“I was asking about the rainbow fire that you made, did you know you could do that?”

Hakoda was not like Ozai. Hakoda was _not_ like Ozai. Zuko scooted closer to Hakoda until their shoulders touched, the warmth was comforting, protecting. “No, um, no I didn’t. It just sort of happened, I guess.” Hakoda nodded thoughtfully before putting an arm around Zuko’s left shoulder and smiling down at him.

“From what I heard, it was a very impressive display of firebending.”

“Aang overexaggerates.” He mumbled under his breath.

Hakoda just chuckled and shook his head, the grounding weight of his hand still on Zuko’s shoulder. It was so nice to be protected by a father. “Regardless, I know what you did was very unique.” Hakoda looked over to Sokka’s tent for a moment, “I’m very proud of you, Zuko.”

Zuko. . . Zuko still didn’t know what to do with that, but it made him feel _loved_. And wasn’t that a weird thought?

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Far away from the dramatic little group, on an abandoned island in the Northern Sea, a very different conversation was taking place. In the depths of a cavern, hidden away from the world and all its political insignificances, there were three men bent intently over a table. The atmosphere had an almost. . . _cultish_ feel to it.

“If we send one of our scouting groups through this path, they should be able to get the new shipment to General Fong without being stopped by Earth Kingdom patrols.”

“Should?”

“ _Will._ They _will_ be able to.”

“Good. As far as the Fire Nation, our trades have grown stable and Fire Lord Ozai is pleased with our services.”

A snort. “As he should be.”

“Yutu. How goes the infiltration with the Northern Water Tribe?”

The taller of the three, crossed his arms and scowled, “It’s been. . . _difficult._ They’re isolated and demand to remain so. Their Chieftain is too _pure-thinking_ to be a point of contact. I’m still trying to find an opening with his advisors.”

The three men remained silent for a moment. Staring down at the world map that lay stretched out across the entire table. Red and green lines and markers littered the map. A tell-tale sign of their years of progress. Katon narrowed his amber eyes at the lower portion of the map, an idea slowly coming to mind.

“What about the Southern Water Tribe.”

Yutu looked up and raised an eyebrow. “. . . A possibility.”

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_ SOKKA POV _

By the end of the day, the group had finally reached their destination: An abandoned cliff face on the island overlooking the distant Fire Nation prison ship that just barely drifted in view. The ship was anchored just far enough away to dismay it’s prisoners from jumping ship and try to swim it.

Sokka squinted at the fuzzy black spot as he unloaded their supplies off of Appa’s back. It looked really big. As in, much bigger than the last Fire Nation prisoner ship they attacked. Sokka snorted and grabbed another pack of dried rice. His life was weird. Interesting. But weird.

Like being attacked randomly by a pissed-off daddy sabretooth-moose-lion giant that decided to get territorial and take out his anger on Sokka’s head. The memory made him wince. But at least he has a handy healing-hands magic sister who can take care of those pesky little concussion things. What a life.

Sokka shook his head and huffed out a laugh. Craziness.

“Hey, Sokka.”

“My man Haru! What’s up?”

The Earthbender teen trotted up to him and graciously took one of the rice bags off his shoulder, following him towards their cook pot station. Sokka noticed immediately that there was tension in the other boy's shoulders and that his smile seemed forced. Something was up. “You got a plan for this rescue mission tomorrow, right Sokka?”

“Of course I do!” Sokka flashed a cocky grin, “You know me, the plan guy!”

“Right. . .” Haru shifted the bag on his shoulder awkwardly, “Will it uh, will it be a better plan than the one that got my Dad captured?”

Sokka pulled up short, stopping in his tracks to look over at Haru, “I am really sorry about that, Haru.” The boy just bit his lip and looked away.

This was the first time that Haru had even addressed that the invasion had been Sokka’s idea. Sokka’s idea that got his dad taken away. . . again. It was an easy road to just ignore that line of thought, but when had Sokka life ever been easy? He cautiously gripped Haru’s shoulder in solidarity, “We’ll get him back tomorrow, I promise.”

“Yeah.” Haru shrugged off Sokka’s hand and nodded quietly, “Let’s just not mess things up again, like last time, okay?”

Sokka swallowed hard. “Okay.”

“Look, it’s not that I blame you, Sokka. You are just a kid like the rest of us. But. . .” Haru glanced over at the blurry metal spot floating on the waves. “But the fact remains, they’re all in there because of you. And not all of our dads get treated as some great leader with their special prisons and special treatment.”

“Special treat-“

“I can’t even _imagine_ what they might be doing to them over there. Before, my dad was in prison just because he could bend earth. But now, he’s in there because of _war crimes_. Because of _you_.” Haru turned away from the horizon and looked straight at Sokka, “If they’ve been tortured in that prison, it’ll be your fault. Just like it was with Zuko.” Sokka went stiff.

“He got poisoned during another one of your _plans._ That’s on you too. I know you care about Zuko more than you care about my dad, that’s fine. But then at least learn from your mistakes with him so things like _that_ don’t happen to anyone else.”

When Haru got nothing but a shocked silence in reply, he simply huffed and shouldered his way past Sokka, muttering under his breath, “Maybe you should just stop playing with people’s lives altogether.”

Sokka watched him walk away as a single tear slid down his cheek.

His chest had started seizing and he couldn’t breathe properly.

Haru was right. He tried to play leader all the time, but really he was just playing with people’s lives. He was supposed to be like his dad. A Chieftain that would bring all his men home safely after a raid. An inspiration to his people. Someone to look up to and respect.

But instead, his plans failed. His people got captured and tortured. And he himself merely gets away with nothing but a scratch.

Another tear slipped out.

He really was a failure. Everything Haru had said felt like a nail in his coffin, a solid confirmation of every doubt that Sokka had entertained in his head. He couldn’t lead. He didn’t know what he was doing. He was ruining everything for everyone else. People were getting _hurt_ because of him.

That wasn’t something Sokka could just let go of.

“Sokka, come on! We’re starting our super important, super-secret rescue mission plans!” Toph yelled at him from the huddle of bodies forming at the other side of camp.

“Coming.”

He quickly went over to the group, standing next to his dad as though the man could give him some kind of invisible blanket of comfort. Really, he just wanted to duck his face into his dad’s coats like he used when he was little. Sokka didn’t think that would be very acceptable now though. Or maybe it would.

He felt his Dad knock him gently with his elbow and turned to look into the man’s smiling face. How a weathered warrior could look so gentle was beyond Sokka’s understanding, he smiled back. “I’m glad to see you’re doing better, son.”

“Thanks Dad.” Sokka ducked his head and accidentally caught Zuko’s eye as the older boy was standing on Hakoda’s other side. “Thank you for saving me, Zuko.” Sokka’s words were quiet but just loud enough for Zuko to hear, the other boy blushed and scooted closer to Hakoda, then he nodded quietly before looking away. The gesture was endearing.

His father just smiled again as he put a hand on each of the boys’ shoulders and sent Katara a grin from across the fire. She just shook her head fondly. Sokka tried not to squirm at the heaviness that his father’s hand was laying on his shoulder. It wasn’t pressuring. It wasn’t tight. His father wasn’t disappointed. . . but maybe he should be. . .

Then the meeting began with a dozen half-baked proposals that didn’t seem to make any coherent sense. People kept tossing in ideas that everyone else immediately would veto. Sokka wished he could just slip away quietly.

“Sokka? Do you have any plans?”

Aang’s question was innocent, and practically founded, given Sokka’s track record. But he instantly felt Haru’s gaze on him and Sokka suddenly wanted to curl into a ball.

“I-um. . .”

Now everyone was looking at him, and his _dad_ was looking at him. Expectantly. And he had a plan. Of course, he did. He is. . . was. . . the plan guy. But what if the plan went wrong. It would be his fault. Again. He couldn’t handle the pressure. Couldn’t handle the pain.

So he chickened out.

“A-actually no. I don’t.” He cleared his throat and avoided the look of shock that everyone except Haru was showing him. “Dad? Do you have any ideas?” It was a lifeline, and they both knew. His father studied him with worry in his eyes for a moment before nodding slowly and turning back to the group.

“Well. One _possible_ idea,” He shot Sokka another glance, “-would be to attack late tomorrow night, while the sun is down. The guards will have weaker firebending, we’ll have more coverage of night to conceal us, and the guard numbers will be low.” Everyone nodded eagerly, “Teo and The Duke can be our getaway on Appa in case things go bad. Katara, Aang, and Zuko can take out the preliminary guards up top while me, Sokka, and Haru head below to free the prisoners. Meanwhile, Suki, you’ll need to get to the watchtower and make sure no one sends off a messenger hawk or that any alarms are raised. Toph. . .” Hakoda shakes his head and laughs, “Toph, you need to find the commander in his sleeping quarters, restrain him and then come help us with those metal locks and cuffs to help the prisoners have some room to fight. Then go waste havoc where you are needed.”

Toph punched her hand and grinned, “Heck yeah! I like this plan!”

Everyone nodded in agreement and Sokka felt himself grow smaller. It was a great plan. They’d hash out the details later on, but it was clear that his Dad knew what he was doing. Unlike Sokka. . .

“Yeah. Great plan, Dad.” His smile felt weak, and the slight frown in Hakoda’s countenance meant it was noticeable. But before his Dad could respond, he quickly turned back to the rowdy group and put on a fake grin. He pumped his arm in the sky like the good son he was supposed to be and shouted, “Tomorrow we get back our people!”

The group cheered loud and bright, but Zuko and Hakoda still looked at him in silence and worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hakoda, you're sons are a mess, go give them hugs and therapy.
> 
> Alright everyone! That's chapter 2! I hope you liked it! Next chapter will be exciting and actiony so that'll be fun and Toph will have a blast. My condolence for the angst, but honestly I think Sokka's angst needed more focus. I hate when people just skim over him as the "meat and sarcasm guy" *cough* *cough* the comics *cough* SO I decided to let the boy have some of those deeper insecurities be flushed out. And Zuko. . .he's trying, I swear. I'm pretty sure everyone in this chapter is just so busy taking care of everyone else that they forget to take care of themselves. Dummies. (Also, Bato will be in the next chapter and that makes me super happy :) Hakoda needs his husband after dealing with his dumbass sons all day long. And Katara needs someone with a brain cell to talk to.)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know what you thought in the comments below. I love hearing what you all are thinking!
> 
> (P.S. I will be posting weekly on Sundays from now on, just to let you know. Have a great day!)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for panic attack, heavy angst, and self-deprecating thoughts.
> 
> And uh. . . hold on tight and good luck :)

_ BATO’S POV _

__

Personal knowledge of the inner workings of a Fire Nation prison ship is something that Bato could easily have gone without having in his life. Being sent to a metal bucket that reeked of unwashed bodies and the guard’s overpowering spice cologne was not an experience that Bato was enjoying at the moment. Or, _any_ of the moments since he arrived.

The prisoners were whiny, the food was deplorable, and the guards were bored, though being bored was understandable really since there wasn’t exactly a spa room on board to destress cabin fever and lose the angst of minimum wage.

Bato flopped back onto his cot and crossed his arms over his chest in annoyance. Glancing down, he flexed his biceps against his pecs, raising an eyebrow. Having nothing to do except workout every day for the past several weeks seemed to have at least one positive impact. He flexed again. Maybe this was something Hakoda would appreciate too. . .

“LET GO OF ME YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF APE-FLY DUNG!”

Bato dropped his arms and cursed La. Never a moment of peace in this metal feed trough.

“YOU THINK YOU’RE TOUGH! HUH?!” Bato glared at his cellmate making all the racket as the young man was being dragged through the hall by his unfortunate guard. The poor guy looked like he just wanted to go home too, face all pinched and exhausted under his helmet. Very depressing.

“YOU THINK I’M SCARED OF YOU?!!” The guard opened the cell door and threw the guy in. The prisoner tried to charge the guard, but the guard just punched him in the jaw, knocked him back on his butt, then locked the door and walked away.

“I’M NOT AFRAID OF YOU! YOU CAN BEAT ME AND PUNCH ME BUT I CAN TAKE IT!!!”

“They wouldn’t have to beat you if you’d just _Shut. Up.”_ Bato glared over at the annoyance that he’d been bunked with since his arrival. Bato just called him ‘angst guy’ since the paranoid little squirt wouldn’t even give Bato a name, or even a fake name for that matter. Seriously? It really wasn’t that hard to give a fake name, just close your eyes and pick one for Tui’s sake.

Angst Guy huffed and shifted to go crouch in the corner as he continued his pouting. Good. Be quiet.

Bato had a headache coming on.

He glanced over to the window near his cot. All he could see was ocean for miles, stretching like a death sentence of waiting jaws, and at the very tip, the edge of the horizon was the tiny smudge of an island. Freedom. Bato could see it, could taste it. But he could not touch it. Every night the little island taunted him in his vision.

The warrior squinted up to the sky, trying to catch sight of Tui’s quiet light. Things weren’t terrible here, but Bato still wanted hope that he would get out soon. That he could go _home_.

He missed home. He missed his friends and family. The years of war had been long, and he just wanted to see the happy faces of his people. Kanna, Sokka, Katara, _Hakoda_. . . Agni curse this war.

He glanced up at the sky one last time before sleep, taking in the speckling of distant stars, the light puffs of wisping clouds and-

Bato paused. Cloud. Not clouds. Just one. He leaned forward eagerly and concentrated on the sight of the single cloud moving steadily closer, and quite fast too.

He remembered when the Avatar and Katara had used cloud coverage to hide Appa while they flew. Maybe. . .

A slow grin spread across Bato’s face.

Oh, tonight was going to be quite entertaining.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_ SOKKA’S POV _

__

The misting breaths of stray cloud flittered across Sokka’s face at an annoyingly intermittent pace. He wiped at his face as he felt another jerk under the saddle. Appa’s flight felt more jarring than usual, most likely due to the hoard of people the poor guy was carrying on his back. Up, then down, and another slap of cloud water.

Sokka gripped tight to the saddle and closed his eyes against building nausea that had started brewing in his stomach. Partly because of Appa’s shaky flying, and partly. . . partly because of his conversation with Haru yesterday.

The other boy’s words kept replaying in his head like a breaking lutestring. It was his fault. All of this was _his_ fault. _His_ inability to lead successfully.

Pulling his knees up close to his chest, Sokka tucked his chin down and sniffed quietly.

He kept thinking about the look of anger and deep hurt that had flashed over Haru’s face, both during and after their conversation. In his head, Sokka knew that Haru was just using Sokka as a way to vent his own guilt and frustration that had probably been growing ever since they started this mission. But that didn’t change the fact that Haru’s words had been justified.

Did Teo feel the same way? Did The Duke?. . . Did _Dad_ hate him too?

The idea that his Dad blamed him for the invasion failing made bile rising up Sokka’s throat, burning as he swallowed it down hard. Surely his Dad. . . but his Dad was also a Chief, and he probably had high standards of what leadership should look like. A measure of leadership that Sokka didn’t measure up to.

He had failed. And his Dad knew it.

He had wanted to make his Dad proud, to be just like the great Chief Hakoda, and follow in his footsteps. To be able to lead his men into victory and bring them all home safely. To earn his rightful place as the next Chief and bring hope to his people. Just like his Dad.

Sokka buried his head in his knees and sniffed again.

He ruined every plan he touched.

“Sokka?”

A thin hand touched his shoulder lightly, delicately.

“Hey, buddy, what’s wrong?” Zuko’s hoarse whisper seemed concerned, worried. It almost made Sokka laugh when he knew _he_ should be the one worried about _Zuko._

Sokka sniffed again, muffling his nose into his pant leg. “’M fine.” He really hoped the others were sleeping still. Even with the ship being close, it was still a two-hour flight, and asides from Katara and Aang doing their cloud-bending, the others had decided to rest before they arrived.

Well. Everyone except Zuko apparently.

“You don’t have to pretend to be okay, you know. I can tell something’s bothering you.”

Sokka swallowed and shook his head jerkily. He wasn’t going to unravel on Zuko right before a super important rescue mission. He needed to pull it together. He needed to be strong and brave and-

Zuko pulled him tightly into a hug.

“It’s okay Sokka, it’s going to be okay.” The word seemed unsure, as though Zuko had no idea how to comfort someone in this type of situation. Sokka didn’t care. He burrowed himself into Zuko’s chest and felt his body shake slightly against Zuko’s natural warmth.

“I keep failing.” Sokka whispered into Zuko’s tunic, “I keep failing: the invasion, boiling rock. I keep messing up and people get hurt because of me.” Sokka choked down a sob. They needed to be quiet.

Zuko made an understanding noise and started rubbing Sokka’s back in an extremely awkward, yet endearing, motion. “Just because the invasion was unsuccessful doesn’t mean that _you_ failed. Sometimes-“ Zuko searched for the right words, voice barely heard over the whipping of clouds, “-Sometimes there are situations where even the best-laid plans go wrong. Because that’s life. It’s unpredictable and changing.”

Zuko pulled Sokka in tighter, “If you learn from your losses then you’re not failing. You’re growing. That’s how I eventually got the courage to leave the palace. I learned from my mistake of choosing the wrong side, and I grew from it.”

“But Boiling Rock-“

“Boiling Rock was a _success_ , Sokka.” Zuko’s voice was firm and determined, Sokka didn’t understand what he had done to earn himself this much devotion. “We saved Suki, we saved your Dad, heck, we even saved _Chit Sang_ , for that matter.”

Sokka snorted before turning somber, “But you were poisoned, Zuko. You almost _died_ because of me!”

“No.” Zuko shifted Sokka in his arms so that the two of them were face-to-face, “I almost died because of the _Warden_. That was not your fault Sokka. And even after that happened, you still were able to adapt your plan and save my life! You’re an amazing leader, Sokka. I wish you’d see that.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes. Yes, you are.”

Sokka didn’t know how to respond to this praise and confidence in his leading abilities. In him. It made his heartbeat loudly, and he felt warm inside.

Then he remembered where he was. Zuko was holding Sokka, as in _holding Sokka_. Like a hug. Like affection.

Sokka wiped at his red eyes self-consciously. Tui and La, he was a mess.

“Um. . .” Sokka looked up at Zuko’s suddenly nervous tone, “While-uh- while we’re having this heart-to-heart thing. I just-“ Zuko bit his lip, “I need to know. . .did I say something? Or do something stupid? Or make you uncomfortable? . . . At Boiling Rock?”

“Huh?”

“It’s just. . . ever since we got back, you’ve been. . . different? I guess? Around me. And I just want to make sure that I didn’t do something at the prison that I don’t remember, that I didn’t offend you or something. I just want to know if you hate me.” Zuko’s voice rushed out like a breaking dam and for a moment Sokka had to pause to process it all.

“Wha- I-“ Sokka blinked. “No! You didn’t do anything wrong at all!”

“I didn’t? Are you sure? Cause you’ve been acting weird and-“

Ohhh. Zuko was talking about Sokka’s crush on him. Zuko _had_ noticed, but he had misinterpreted it. “You didn’t do anything wrong, I swear. I’ve just been. . . worried. About you. Since the prison.” Not a lie. “I’ve been worried that you’re going to get hurt again.”

“Oh. O-okay.” Zuko hesitated, “Why are you worried? There’s, uh, there’s nothing wrong with me.” Zuko scratched the back of his neck and looked away. “Nothing’s wrong. Nothing to worry about.”

Sokka’s eyes widened.

Well crap. Something actually was wrong. It wasn’t just in Sokka’s head like he’d hoped. Zuko’s whole body language was screaming defensive and now Sokka was getting legitimately concerned, “Zuko? Is something going on? You’re okay, right-“

“I’m fine!”

His yell caused the sleeping people around them to begin stirring.

“I’m fine.” Zuko whispered harshly.

“I can tell you’re hiding something.”

Zuko went pale. That- that was not a good response. Oh Tui, something was actually really wrong. “Zuko-“

“Look, I’m okay. Don’t worry about me, alright? I’m really relieved that you don’t hate me, so let’s just leave it at that.” Sokka's response was cut off by Suki sitting up with a yawn only a few feet away. Damnit.

This talk would have to happen later.

Zuko started to pull away, but hesitated a moment, “But Sokka? Please remember, you really are a gifted leader. Don’t blame yourself for things that were out of your control. I believe in you.” He gave Sokka a tight smile before practically running to the other side of the saddle to talk with Aang.

Sokka sighed in frustration as he wiped away the last remnants of his drying tears.

How did Zuko have the talent of being so incredibly complicated and worrisome, while simultaneously being a sweetheart? It just wasn’t fair.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_ ZUKO’S POV _

__

Agni, an hour later and he still feels stupid.

Almost spilling the fact that he was going insane? Right after Sokka had just had a self-confidence breakdown?

Great job, Zuko.

Also, making him freak out with worry when you were supposed to be reassuring him so he could actually not feel stressed by one single freaking aspect of his life?? What the hell?!

“Zuko? You ready for this?”

Right. Focusing on the mission. Not on Sokka. Mission.

“Zuko?”

Katara’s voice managed to cut through the tirade of self-deprecation. She was currently perched on Appa’s head, about to follow Aang in climbing up the side of the ship. They had flown Appa underwater, using Aang’s giant breath bubble, when they’d gotten closer, popping up only when they were side-by-side with the metal boat. Apparently, no one had spotted them yet. Yet.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Zuko nodded farewell to the others behind him, briefly making eye-contact with Sokka before turning and scrambling up the side of the ship. Aang, Katara, Suki, and he would be the first wave to take out guards on the top level. Suki broke off immediately to head for the watchtower, making sure no one sends out a message or raises the alarm.

The others would follow behind in exactly three times the length of the Southern Water Tribe war chant (about seven minutes total). Hakoda would lead them down to the lower levels to release the prisoners and get them armed. After that, all hell would break loose.

The plan was to move silently, capture all the guards without alerting the Fire Nation, and take the ship. Then they’d regroup after that.

What could go wrong?

Only time would tell.

Zuko crept over the side railing and dropped silently onto the deck. Time to begin.

The Prince made eye-contact with first Katara, then Aang. He moved his hands in a V-shape formation, both of them nodding in response. Zuko glanced around one more time before moving forward to take point.

Crouching his lithe body low to the ground, Zuko slunk through the shadows like a cobra- python, eyes-wide in search of prey. His Blue Spirit instincts took over as he vaulted over a stack of crates in complete silence. His eyes darted left, then right, straight, then back to right.

A guard.

Zuko signaled the others, then crawled towards the shadow, elbows and knees skimming the metal flooring. He crept closer until he was positioned right behind the guard, balls of his feet bouncing.

Moving fast and accurate, Zuko reached out, pulling the guard’s helmet off his head and then delivering a swift elbow jab to the temple, hitting the correct pressure point for an instant knock-out. The man’s body crumbled to the ground as Zuko caught his shoulders and lowered him down quietly.

Zuko dragged the body into the hidden depths of nearby shadows, only releasing his grip after being fully satisfied in his position. The banished Prince straightened, turned to Katara, and Aang still in their hiding positions, and signaled affirmation.

First guard down.

Only thirty more to go.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_ SOKKA’S POV _

Young wiry muscles tensed under a light blue Water Tribe tunic as Hakoda finally, _finally,_ gave the affirmative to move out.

Sokka could feel Haru’s hardened gaze boring into his back as they slid through the small hole in the hull that Toph had made for them before she had headed out.

Nerves were scrambling up and down his spine like twitchy squirrel-beetles and he really, _really,_ wished Haru would stop staring at him like that. Sokka had never been a stealth master, this was an accepted fact in his mind. The boy’s main style of fighting was meeting his attackers head-on, not slinking through shadows and praying to Tui that no one raised the alarm.

It was nerve-wracking and terrifying, but it would be alright. They would be alright. At least, that was the mantra that Sokka was currently replaying over and over in his head. This wasn’t Boiling Rock. They would be alright. They would be alright.

The first sight of the flashed red, black, and gold uniform made Sokka want to hurl all of his guts into the sea. His fingers twitched and his mind switched back to the sight of two guards dragging a screaming and writhing Zuko into the prison yard. The wide, glazed eyes set in a bruised and battered face.

Sokka swallowed and scrunched his eyes shut.

This wasn’t Boiling Rock.

When he finally opened his eyes again, the guard was down and his father was dragging the body in the shadows before signaling for Sokka and Haru to follow him down the hall. Sokka bit his trembling lip and forced his legs to move. Move, damnit. Because this wasn’t Boiling Rock, and they would be _alright._

Sokka kept close to his Dad’s side, making his body as silent as possible.

They took out two, then eight, then twelve guards.

All with no sound and without being seen.

There was no sound of fighting yet from the deck above, so Sokka took that as a sign that the others were okay. They needed to be okay, so that is what Sokka would believe.

As they managed to get the next level down, Sokka slowly pulled himself out of his flashbacks and memories as he started noticing the state of his two companions.

His dad was getting edgy, a little cagey almost and just as on-edge. He was probably nervous about Bato, Sokka thought. If his dad’s life-long friend turned out to not be on this ship, Sokka didn’t even want to think about how it would affect his dad. Bato and his father had always been close, and them being separated after capture must have been extremely traumatic.

Sokka gritted against the wave of impending guilt.

Haru, on the other hand, seemed almost. . . self-berating in his countenance. Every time he took down a guard, Haru would nod grimly down at the unconscious figure as though affirming to himself a mark in his penance. It didn’t make any sense to Sokka.

He shrugged off the observation and snapped his knuckles into another unsuspecting guard’s glass jaw. The body crumpled to the ground with a thud.

Guard number thirteen.

Down.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_ ZUKO’S POV _

__

Zuko would be lying if he said that the sight of his nation’s guard uniforms didn’t make his skin crawl. It had been a slight feeling that he could shrug off at the sight of the first few guards. But now, as he and Aang tag-teamed on their twentieth guard, Zuko could feel himself getting on-edge.

The patrol of guards, the barbed metal wiring that lined the ship’s edge, the thought of hundreds of prisoners being locked in their cages-

Zuko exhaled out through his nose.

Focus.

He needed to focus.

_You never were very good at that though, my son, now were you?_

Zuko cursed.

No. Not now.

Go away!

_Why should I be silent while you harm your own people? You’re turning on your own nation, freeing your own enemies. What kind of Crowned Prince are you?!_

Zuko shuffled closer to Aang, ignoring the boy’s puzzled look. He squinted his eyes at their next target, a larger guard, his decorations suggesting a rank of lieutenant. If Aang got behind him and swept out the man’s legs, Zuko should be able to grab him in a head-lock without drawing any attention-

_You’re taking pleasure in this, aren’t you? The thrill of having control over another body as it crumbles to its knees in front of you. The pumping of blood as you slice your blades through a neck-_

“Shut up.” Zuko muttered quietly under his breath.

Aang looked at him sharply. Crap.

After a quick wave of dismissal, that Aang didn’t quite seem to accept, Zuko signaled their attack strategy on the lieutenant. Leg sweep, head-lock, release, and move. Smooth and controlled, Aang initiated his attack. Zuko grabbed the man from behind in a headlock and tightened his forearm around the man’s windpipe.

_A little tighter and you could kill him._

Zuko held his grip steady as the man began to thrash against him.

_Come on, you’re already betraying your people. What difference will it make if you kill a couple of them in the process? Everyone already hates you. Why not give in to your blood lust? Kill him._

Zuko’s hold stuttered as the man switched from thrashing to desperate flailing. He held his grip firm, just enough to make the man lose consciousness, that’s all he needed.

_Just kill him, Zuko!_

His ears were starting to ring from the screaming at his left side. His arm loosened only slightly, letting the man take a prolonging breath before Zuko cursed and tightened back again. Just go to sleep, please just go to sleep.

Aang was staring at him.

_You know you’re a killer. People die because of you all the time! An entire battalion died because of your incompetence!_

Controlled arms started shaking and Aang’s mouth started moving like he was whispering something to him in panic. The guard was still struggling against him, though his body was beginning to grow weak in Zuko’s grasp. Just a few more seconds. . .

_You’re a murderer! A killer!_

His heart was beating fast, too fast.

Too much-

_KILL HIM, ZUKO!!_

Zuko stumbled back with a gasp, hands flying instinctively to cover his ears.

By the time Zuko realized what he’d done, it was too late. The guard broke free, yelling out an alarm only a second before Aang tackled him to the ground and knocked him out. But it was too late. The damage had been done and the alarm had been raised.

FUCK.

Suddenly there was shouting all around them and in the lower levels below them. The sounds of heavy boots pounding on the metal floor. Closer and closer, they were getting closer.

_Incompetent fool. Now, look what you’ve done! Your little “friends” are all going to die because of you! Because you were too weak! Because you fail, over and over again! You hurt the ones you love! You’re a disgrace! A failure! A-_

“-ko! Zuko! Can you. . . me? . . .Zuko?!”

Someone was shaking his shoulders, _hard_. It was only then that Zuko realized he wasn’t breathing. He couldn’t _breathe_. His head felt like it was underwater and there was a haze of black closing in on his vision. His legs felt soft and loose, his heart was beating weird. Why couldn’t he breathe?

Aang pulled him behind a row of crates to hide from the alerted solders, Katara running over to join them behind the wall of cover. He still couldn’t breathe. Chest tight, lungs freezing, stuttering. His head felt heavy and his eyesight kept blurring in and out. He could hear Aang and Katara whispering in panic above his head, but it was weird. Foggy.

“What the heck happened?!”

“I-I don’t know! Everything was fine and then Zuko just-“

More boots pounding nearby. People were going to die, people were going to _die_ because of _him_. Because of his mistakes, because of his inability to keep it together.

_Every single body covered in blood and burns tonight will be because of you, Zuko._

Zuko clutched at his ears again.

There was low whimpering sound, someone was in pain. _Zuko_ was in pain. Maybe. He couldn’t tell. Katara was shushing him, crouching in front of him and tried to send soothing words to his ears. But his ears were so full, so loud, his father was laughing again, and heavy boots were pounding, and he couldn’t _breathe._

“Zuko? Zuko I need you to listen to me, okay. Listen to my voice. You need to breathe, okay?”

He didn’t deserve to breathe, not after condemning his friends to death, to prison. He lowered his shaking hands from his ears, but they shook and tremored, and they-

Zuko looked down at his hands.

They were covered in blood.

In-In. . . _blood_.

Zuko choked on a sob.

“-heal him! The guard attacked him when he broke free and. . . a knife in his boot. . . Katara heal him!” There were hands at his stomach, pressing down, pressing hard. “-losing too much blood!. . .” Everyone was going to die tonight because of him. Because he was a failure. Cursed.

“I’m trying!. . .only a little water left. . .stopped most of the bleeding but. . .” His ears kept ringing and ringing and he was forgetting something. Something important. The heat in his stomach seemed to pull back, a little duller, a little less grounding.

There was blood on his hands.

And he was forgetting something.

Zuko finally breathed in a gasp. Not something. _Someone._

Sokka. . .

Zuko scrambled away from Katara’s healing hands, his father’s laughter still ringing loud in his ears. Louder and louder, but he still forced himself to his feet.

Sokka. He needed to find Sokka.

Aang and Katara were panicking as he pushed them away. He ignored the pounding in his head, ignored the burning in his stomach, ignored the voices his in ears. He had to find Sokka, had to protect Sokka. Zuko raced away from the two companions behind him and stumbled towards the stairs to go below deck.

His vision was too shadowed to notice the way his instincts let him dance around the yelling guards that never spotted him, or the way his adrenaline forced his legs to be strong and firm, or the way that multi-colored flames ignited from his hands as if they had a life of their own.

He had to find Sokka.

He refused to let Sokka die because of his mistakes.

Not today, not ever.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_ SOKKA’s POV _

__

They had just met up with Toph at the first group of cells when they heard the yelling and pandemonium from above deck.

“Shit.”

Sokka’s Father cursed under his breath as he yanked out a set of pilfered keys and began unlocking cell doors. Toph instantly jumped in to started manhandling doors open by force, “Weapons’ storage room is down the hall to the right, the door is unlocked. Go as fast as you can and arm yourselves, don’t kill if you can help it. Hurry up! We’re getting you all out of here!”

Sokka bounced on his toes in trepidation as he saw hundreds of captured Water Tribe warriors in the cells in front of him, all packed together like sardines. Apparently, their group wasn’t the only one to be put on this ship.

The young man grabbed another set of keys and raced down the hallway to start opening doors from the other end. The yells were getting louder but no sounds of a fight yet, that was good. They would be alright. They would be alright.

Sokka hands shook as he unlocked the first door, directing the prisoners just as his father had done. He could do this. Prayers to Tui and La on Zuko’s behalf, and everyone else’s too for that matter. Please let everything turn out okay.

The pressure was building in his chest as he heard more guards running down the nearby stairs. Thankfully Toph had welded the sleeping barracks’ doors shut, so none of those guards could fight. They had also taken out a lot of the guards below deck as well.

It would be fine. They were going to be alright.

“Sokka?”

The young man looked up from the stubborn keys. He knew that voice.

“Sokka is that you? Are you guys breaking us out? Tui and La, I knew you would come.”

“Bato?” Sokka felt a wave of relief wash over his body so strongly that for a moment his knees almost gave out. “Bato? You guys are alive?” Sturdy blue eyes glistened from within the cell, Bato’s tall frame standing sturdy and firm in the middle of the clamoring chaos that was building around them.

As soon as the door opened, Bato ran forward and scooped Sokka into a hug as the other cell occupants scurried out of into the quickly crowding hallway. Bato’s arms felt warm and steady, like home. “I’m so glad you’re alive. You’re all alive.” Sokka whispered hoarsely and Bato held him tighter.

“We’re alive.” Bato patted him on the back for a moment before swallowing hard and pulling away, “All the cells are almost open by now, let’s go help out in the fight up top, okay?”

Sokka nodded jerkily, “Yeah. Yeah, let’s go.”

The two of them wove their way through the building mass of prisoners, Bato stopping to pick up a sword from a fallen guard, as they made their way to the stairs. Bodies jostled against them as they clamored up the steps, taking two at a time.

Sokka needed to make sure the others were okay. Suki, Aang, Katara, . . .and Zuko. Please, please let them all be safe.

Bato and he made it up all the way to the second level before they ran into a group of guards. Blades flashed as they both dove into the clustered opponents, weapons raised high as Bato and Sokka let out a fierce war cry.

For the next five minutes, there was an overload of mayhem with shouting and clanging metal on metal.

It was intense and heated.

Sokka’s heart pounded fiercely as he danced and swayed around his opponents. He dodged another burst of flames with a perfect duck and roll to the right. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, spreading from his shoulders into his fingers as they gripped his sword intently, footwork snapping his body into forms like a swords master.

Three guards down, two to go.

Bato was occupied with his own guard as Sokka shifted his balance forward in an offensive attack. His meteor sword whipped through the air with precision and exact execution causing his opponent to sweat.

His concentration, however, was broken for but a moment as he heard Bato grunt under a particularly forceful attack.

That moment of hesitation cost him dearly.

The guard smacked the sword out of Sokka’s hand, advancing with malice in his amber eyes.

This is it, Sokka thought dazedly. He tried to grab for the sword, but the guard’s blade came down too fast. Too precise. Sokka turned just in time to see the blade sweeping down in a deadly arch aimed straight for his neck.

Sokka closed his eyes tight.

This was it. This was death.

Or maybe not.

Sokka eyes’ snapped back open at the sound of a loud clang ringing out just above his head. He felt warm heat on his face and as he opened his eyes he saw why.

Right in front of his face were two Dual Dao swords blocking the guard’s blade. The dual swords were encased in rippling fire, rainbow fire, with flames of green, yellow, and purple licking at the opponent’s weapon menacingly.

Zuko.

The swords pushed back, causing the guard to stumble, and Zuko swiftly turned on his toes and arched his blade to smack the hilt of his right sword into the man’s forehead. Instant knock-out. The body hit the floor with a final thud, the dull sound reverberating up their bones.

Both boys stood panting for a moment and Sokka felt intense relief flood through his body. Relief at being alive, relief at Zuko being okay, relief at freeing their people.

Sokka turned to look at the boy beside him, grinning wide and excited. Zuko was okay! Zuko was still alive! Zuko-

The grin dropped off his face as he took in the sight of the shaky and bloodied figure standing beside him.

Zuko. . . Zuko was not okay.

FUCK.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zuko. . . just, please try to stop dying every two seconds. Okay? Here, just drink some water.
> 
> Only one chapter left! (Sorry for the cliff hanger, but this chapter was getting long and I didn't want to rush this next part, *grins deviously*)  
> Thank you so much for reading! let me know what you thought in the comments below, I love hearing from you guys and it means a lot to me to get feedback on my stories!
> 
> Have a great week!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW warning for severe panic attack (If you don't want to read that then skip the first section and start at Sokka's POV), and heavy angst.
> 
> There will be fluff I swear! But first. . . we start by getting thrown back into the fire. . . good luck everyone!

_ ZUKO’S POV _

__

“. . .-ko? Zuko??”

_Zuuuuuukooooo_

A raging pounding kept hammering into his head over and over, tingling sensations shivered through the nerves in his spine, and a ringing in his ears would not _shut up_. The world kept swaying and the ground kept moving and nothing was making sense. Nothing was making sense!

“Zuko!”

 _How pathetic, you aren’t even sane enough to hear the_ real _voices!_

Zuko felt the ground sweep under him and hard metal floors crashed into his shoulder and side. He clutched at his ears and whimpered. Pounding. Pounding. Laughter. Father’s laughter. It wouldn’t stop. It wouldn’t stop!

“Zuko?!”

_Can’t even stand up. Such a weakling!_

Eyes scrunched tight, Zuko felt his chest heaving violently, “S-Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!”

“I-I’m sorry. . .”

Zuko blinked his eyes open at the soft voice beside him. The wave of fog and blurred vision fought against him as he tried to focus. He needed to focus. Focus Zuko, damnit! “S-Sokka?” A hand touched his shoulder and a burning shot through his skin. He jerked away violently. This wasn’t right. It wasn’t right!

“Okay. . .okay, um. Zuko? Can you hear me?”

There was a loud keening noise. Like a wounded animal. A trapped, trapped animal. What was making that noise? Nothing good could make a noise like that. Who was making that noise?!

“Fuck, you’re really freaking me out, buddy. Zuko, hey-“

_The whole ship is going to hear your wretched moaning! Your friends are going to die! Because you can’t keep your useless mind in one piece!_

“-Zuko? I really need you to tell me what’s going on dude. You got a deep gash on your stomach, I need to put pressure on it. I- I need to touch you, dude. Okay? Please don’t freak out on me again. Zuko? Can you talk to me please?”

The voice was grounding. But the other voice in his head kept making his body float away. Grounding and floating, grounding and floating. His fingers felt numb. His eyes kept twitching.

“Okay, you’re okay-“ Someone put their hands firmly on his stomach. Zuko screamed. Everything was on fire. He was sensitive to every touch, every breath. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! Just breathe, breathe for me please.” The hands shook, “Bato’s going to find Katara, okay? But I need you to tell me what’s going on in your head, alright?”

Talk. He needed to talk. Right. Sokka he- Sokka didn’t know about the voices. Sokka couldn’t hear the laughter. Ringing and ringing, he couldn’t hear-

“My father.”

A pause. “What?”

“His voice. His voice is so loud!”

There was a soft string of curses and Zuko felt himself floating again. The hands pressed down again. He screamed again. Again, repeat. Again, repeat.

_PATHETIC. USELESS. WEAK. WORTHLESS._

A rhythm. A rhythm in his ears. His father’s voice was loud and drumming. A beat. In his head. The mantra kept going and going. Someone beside him was trying to call to him, but he couldn’t hear. He needed. . . something. He needed something but he couldn’t remember. Something to make the floating stop. . .

“Humming.”

“Humming? Zuko? Zuko, what are you talking about?!”

“Please- songs. . . helps. . . your voice. . . please.” His tongue felt thick.

“O-Oh. Okay. . .”

Then it started. It was soft, and quiet, a little shaky. So so quiet. A deep thrumming sound that filled his ears and vibrated in his skull. Deep and soft. A gentle voice humming slightly off-tune to a lullaby that whispered sacred. Safety. Safety fought against the voices.

The humming continued, stronger and deeper.

Zuko felt the voices melt away, his eyes started to clear, and the numbness faded from his fingers and toes. Sokka’s face became clearer, more solid. Terrified blue eyes were staring down at his stomach as Sokka kept humming. Soft and sweet. Sokka was so sweet. The only voice in his head was Sokka’s.

“Sokka?”

Blue eyes snapped up and Zuko saw the instant relief that washed through Sokka’s entire body. “Zuko? Oh, thank Tui. Are you with me now, Zuko?” Zuko felt himself shift towards Sokka’s body heat, burrowing his face into Sokka’s knee.

“Uh huh. I’m here.”

“Fuck. Fuck you scared the shit out of me, Zuko.” Sokka’s hands twitched but remained firmly on the gash in his stomach. “As soon as Katara heals up this bloody mess you got going on down here, we’re going to talk about this. Alright?”

“Alright.”

“But for now just rest for me, okay? Don’t close your eyes, but just focus on my breathing. Do you-“ Sokka shifted slightly, “Do you want me to keep humming?”

“Yes. Yes please.”

“Okay. I can do that. Just stay awake, alright?”

“Alright.”

Zuko felt too exhausted for words, all of his adrenaline and energy had been sucked out of his system leaving him hollowed and loose. The feeling of pain in his stomach become more abrasive and forward in his mind.

He focused on Sokka’s humming.

Just that one comforting sound.

That one voice.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_ SOKKA’S POV _

No words could accurately describe the sheer amount of overwhelming terror that rushed into his mind at the sight of Zuko bleeding out and shaking on the floor.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Sokka had assured himself that Zuko would not get caught in the crossfires, that he wouldn’t get hurt this time. But the reality stared up at him with glazed, golden eyes. The reality poured between his fingers in viscous red rivulets.

He couldn’t protect Zuko, no matter how hard he tried.

A couple of bars of his melody stuck in Sokka’s throat as he thought of Zuko screaming out about hearing his father’s voice. How loud Ozai yelled at him. Even now. Even when Zuko had been deemed cured of the poison and rid of all its effects _weeks_ ago. Sokka hadn't noticed, he knew something was off but, Tui and La, How had he missed something like this? He was supposed to be looking out for Zuko! Not being completely oblivious of something so troubling that it eventually gave his friend a full-blown panic attack in the middle of a rescue mission!

How long had this been going on? Why hadn’t Zuko said anything to him? Was this what had been bothering Zuko early tonight on Appa?

Did Zuko not trust him?

“Sokka!”

Head whipping up from the gory sight before him, Sokka caught sight of Katara racing toward them with a water canister ready and Bato and Aang in tow. Maybe it would be alright. Everything had to be alright.

“Thank Tui you found him! He rushed off before I could get more water-“ Katara slid to her knees beside Zuko, water already out and glowing in her hands. “Two and a half weeks and I’m already saving your life again.” Katara tsked down at the boy, “This isn’t exactly a healthy habit, Zuko.”

Her tone was forced in its lightness and Sokka could tell that she was putting on a front for their sakes. Brows scrunching into a frown, Katara started closing the gaping hole in Zuko’s abdomen.

“Is he. . . is he going to be okay?”

“I’m fine. . .”

“Zuko, lay back down, buddy.” Sokka pressed Zuko’s shoulders back to the ground as Katara looked up to give him a hopeful smile and a nod.

“He’ll be okay.”

Sokka wanted to be relieved by that, he really did. But the anxiety had already taken root in his stomach, there was no way he could budge on that. Simply nodding in response to Katara’s reassurances, Sokka shoved down the turmoil that wanted to be spoken. He needed to stay calm. He could beat up on himself later after Zuko was stabilized and they had talked. After Sokka had taken care of Zuko, had right his mistakes, then he could give in to his guilt and shame.

He was supposed to be protecting people. He was supposed to be protecting Zuko.

“Sokka! Katara! . . .Bato!” His dad came running down the hall towards them, eyes bright as he plowed into Bato and grabbed him into a tight embrace. The two men held on to each other for dear life and Hakoda buried his face into Bato’s chest.

“Tui and La, I’m so glad you’re alright.”

Bato choked on something between a laugh and a sob, both men wrapped up in their own world momentarily. It was a sweet reunion, two people seeing each other when they thought they never would again. “I missed you so much ‘Koda.”

“I missed you too.” Hakoda’s voice was thick and muffled against Bato’s tunic. He gave the taller man one last squeeze before pulling back slightly and surveying the scene around them. Hakoda seemed to notice the bloodied figure on the ground for the first time and he immediately pulled away. Cursing, he crouched down next to Zuko.

“Shit. Zuko? Zuko are you okay?”

Katara gave another huff, “I swear, you men are such drama queens. He’s _fine_. His wound is almost healed up and his head is clearing a bit.” Zuko groaned and gave a weak thumbs up in agreement.

Sokka sagged against his dad’s side, taking in the unmoving support with relief, “I swear, Zuko, you’re going to give me a freaking heart attack one of these days.”

Zuko grinned weakly, “But not today.”

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_ HAKODA’S POV _

The next few hours involved a lot of chaos. The guards were put in the prison cells, the previous prisoners moved into the barracks. Hakoda and Bato decided to sail for a location in more neutral waters where they could sit tight and figure where to go from here.

There was a lot of running around, a little bit of consternation between the newly rescued group on where everyone fell in the hierarchy of command. After much re-shuffling, Hakoda and Bato took charge with Gaang, as apparently the kids went by these days, were brought in for meetings on what to do from here.

After about six hours straight of organizing everything into order, Hakoda finally managed to get a break and stumble towards his newly assigned room. Maybe later he could meet up with Bato and _properly_ meet. It hadn't escaped Hakoda's notice that Bato was looking in exceptionally good shape after those few weeks in prison. After a nap, Hakoda would definitely be paying a visit.

Unfortunately for Hakoda’s sleep cycle, however, the rigid teen standing next to his door heralded a sleepless next few hours. “Zuko? How are you feeling, son?”

Zuko let a small smile flash across his face as he ducked his head, “I’m doing much better, thank you Chief. Katara gave me another healing session an hour ago, I can barely even feel it now.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Hakoda appraised the boy in front of him, taking in the jittery hands and bags under his eyes. “Is something wrong, Zuko?” The golden eyes widened in panic and slim hands shot out in placation.

“No!” Zuko hesitated. “Well, not exactly. Kind of. I guess. Yes?”

Hakoda raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.

The firebender glanced down the hallway to check for any listeners before he resumed speaking, his voice notably lower this time. “Actually, it’s uh, it’s Sokka.” Hakoda straightened. “He’s okay! It’s just. . . he was really down on himself before the rescue mission today. He doesn’t think he’s good enough to be a leader and that it’s his fault when people get hurt.”

“I see.” It painful to hear, but it didn’t surprise Hakoda as much as he suspected it would. Sokka always did doubt himself when he had no reason to.

“And. . . he’s really been struggling with what happened at Boiling Rock and the invasion failing. . . I’m sure what happened with me this morning won’t help matters either. . .” Zuko straightened himself up and looked Hakoda in the eye, “I need you to talk to him. I tried reassuring him last night, but. . . I’m not the one he needs to hear it from.”

The maturity that radiated off of Zuko surprised Hakoda immensely. He was struck with an immense amount of pride and love for the young man in front of him. Hakoda smiled wearily and nodded. “Of course, I will. Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Zuko.”

Hakoda turned to find Sokka right then before hesitating and turning back to Zuko. On an impulse decision, he pulled the boy into his arms and cradled the back of his neck gently. “I’m glad you’re going to be okay, Zuko.” Hakoda squeezed him tightly, “I would have been devastated to have lost one of my sons.”

A noise of surprise squeaked from Zuko’s throat before the boy wrapped his arms around Hakoda desperately. There was a little sniffling sound as they stayed there silently for a few minutes. Hakoda wondered when the last time Zuko had been held lovingly by a father-figure.

Zuko pulled back and wiped at his suspiciously red eyes, “Thank you.”

Hakoda squeezed Zuko’s shoulder, “Anytime.” He offered one more smile of encouragement and what he hoped Zuko recognized as love before he turned and headed back down the hall in search of Sokka.

Hakoda had just managed to wipe away his own wet eyes when he caught sight of Sokka sitting quietly in the empty galley around the corner. The boy looked tired and small, sitting alone in such a larger and empty room.

“Sokka?”

Sokka looked up and smiled at him, but there was a lingering sense of guilt that was marring the young man’s face. “Hey, Dad.” Sokka scooted over to make room for Hakoda as he sat down next to the boy.

“How are doing, Sokka?”

Sokka just shrugged off the inquiry, “I’m fine. Just a couple of scratches.”

“I meant. . .” Hakoda paused, think of how to address this situation. Head-on seemed the best answer. “Zuko told me that you have been having some doubts about your leadership abilities, and some guilt about the consequences of them.”

Sokka’s blue eyes widened. He looked so much like Kya it made Hakoda’s heartache. “I- I-“

“Sokka. It’s okay to feel that way, I understand.”

“You. . . you do?”

“Yes.” He let a hard tone of emphatics into his voice, “Sokka, I have doubts all the time about whether or not I am doing the right thing. About whether I am keeping my people safe by my actions.”

“But, you seem so confident all the time-“

“It’s just a mask to make everyone feel calmer. I understand that being a leader can be hard, especially when your plans don’t go well. Believe me. I understand.” He turned to Sokka, “But believe me son, that guilt? Those doubts? That is what makes you such a good leader. Because it means that you care. It means that you always have your people’s best interest at heart.”

“Really? So you don’t think. . .”

“Don’t think what, Sokka?”

Sokka looked down in shame, “You don’t think I’m a failure?”

By Tui and La, Hakoda felt his heart crack in two.

For the second time in the last hour, Hakoda found himself pulling one of his sons into a tight embrace. Arms strong and passionate. “Sokka, I am _proud_ of you. I have never, EVER thought of you as a failure. You are a light in my life. And I could never think anything less than gratitude at having you as a son.”

Sokka sniffed into his chest and nodded slowly. “You’re sure?”

“ _Absolutely.”_

“O-Okay.” Sokka hugged him tighter, “Thanks, Dad. That means a lot.”

Hakoda smiled as they pulled away, heart feeling full before a thought crossed his mind. “Hey, Sokka?”

“Yeah?”

“I feel like I should check on Katara and see if she needs a hug too. There’s seems to be a trend going on today.” Sokka just laughed and shook his head before standing. Even after being back together for a few weeks, Hakoda was still caught off guard by how tall his son had grown. Tui, he had missed out on so much. But perhaps, now he was rectifying that mistake. Now he could be there for Sokka in ways he hadn't been able to while at sea.

Sokka slung his pack over his shoulder and grinned down at him, he seemed so much older than he should, but perhaps that was because of the war. It was always the war. “I need to go find Zuko and talk to him about some stuff. But Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“Really. Thank you.”

Hakoda grinned. Kya would be happy with him today.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_ ZUKO’S POV _

“Zuko?”

Looking up from his cross-seated position on the ship’s edge, Zuko squinted to see Sokka walking up to him, plopping down to sit beside him. Zuko what Sokka would be wanting to speak with him about.

“So, you want to have _The Talk_ now?”

Sokka snorted, “Such an elegant way to put it.” The lines in Sokka’s face strained as he grew suddenly serious, “Zuko, what’s been going on?”

Zuko shivered slightly, drawing his knees up to his chin, “Okay, um, well. . .” Zuko cleared his throat. It was time to explain. “Even though Katara removed the poison from Boiling Rock and healed me, I- I still have some. . . lasting effects?”

“. . .Ozai’s voice.”

His whole body cringed at that. “Yes.” Zuko felt an arm wrap around his shoulders and a body scoot close to his side. Zuko kept his eyes straight ahead. “Ever since we got back, I would have these ‘episodes’ where I could suddenly hear him whispering in my ear, catch glances of him in the periphery of my vision. Sometimes he would yell and scream horrible things into my ear, while other times he would just laugh. Laugh and laugh until his voice got so loud I couldn’t even hear what was going on around me.”

Sokka wrapped another arm around him and pulled him into a hug.

“The only thing that would make him shut up is if I surrounded myself with you all, talking and bantering. One night I couldn’t sleep because he was so loud, so I crept outside and heard you humming in your sleep. It was soothing. So, I slept outside your tent that night. I hadn’t slept so well in a long time.”

Sokka wiped at a tear that was rolling down his cheek and cleared his throat, “Why- Why didn’t you say anything?”

And that was the real question, wasn’t it? Zuko paused. “I- I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Zuko-“

“You all had been through so much already, and I didn’t want to worry you! I thought maybe- maybe it would just go away if I ignored it long enough. And then we had this rescue mission, and I just. . .” Zuko wiped his eyes. When had he started crying?

“I- I didn’t want you to think I was insane.”

“Oh Zuko. . .” Sokka kissed the top of Zuko’s head. Wait- What? “Zuko, I don’t think you’re insane. But I do think you need help. And there’s nothing wrong with that, okay?” Zuko shook his head. He didn’t want to be a burden- “I spoke with Katara earlier today, back at camp. She thinks that poison left long-term effects on your psychological functions.”

Zuko buried his nose into Sokka’s tunic and choked on a sob.

“She said she’s going to give you regular healing sessions for the next few months. She thinks that eventually. . . you’ll be cured. But- But it won’t be a quick fix. It will take time. Maybe even years.”

Years. . .

Zuko felt a dam break in his chest.

All of his resolve and walls simply crumbled to the ground. All the fight leaked out of his bones and just felt _tired_. Tired, weary, exhausted, numb. Some strange part of him felt relieved that he could get better. But the larger, scarier part, reminded just how long he would have to deal with this.

This was supposed to be over with a quick song and a slapped-on bandage. Then everything could go back to normal. Everything could be fine.

But that wasn’t reality.

Reality was festering injuries and months of physical therapy. Reality was sleepless nights after the battle was already won, with night terrors that were more scarring than the fights themselves had been. Reality wasn’t a book that one could simply skip to the next chapter when the hardships stretched too long, and the bad parts left a foul taste in your mouth that wouldn’t wash out for months.

It was cruel and suffering.

The end of a fight simple signaled the beginning of trauma.

It was a hard idea to accept: that it would take years to recover fully. That the wounds of psychological torture would remain open and weeping for a good portion of his life. That he couldn’t simply blink and have it all over. Sometimes reality was living with the knowledge that the good days didn’t last and the hard times never stayed away forever.

It was cruel.

But maybe there was a small light in the darkness.

Maybe hope could save him from drowning.

“Why do you care so much, Sokka?”

Sokka glanced down at him in shock, as though he couldn’t process the absurdity of that implications, “Because I care about _you_. I care very very much about you, and I want to help you.”

Zuko squinted. There had to be more to it than that. Sokka seemed nervous and twitchy like he was hiding something. Something important. “Why?”

“I just said. Because I care about you!”

“Yeah, but why?”

Strong hands clutched at him fiercely, “Because, you idiot, you mean a lot to me. You’re important to me.” Zuko startled in surprise but Sokka kept talking in a frenzy, “Your dumbass little smile makes my chest all warm and fuzzy, and you’re so protective of the others because you’re such a good person, and I can’t imagine you not being in my life, and, Tui strike me down because this is sappy, but Zuko. . . I love you.”

Well- that. Didn’t make sense.

“. . .No. No, you don’t.”

Sokka stared at him for a moment, eyes wide and mouth open before he snapped it shut with a ‘pop’. Sokka squinted at him and then reached out his hand and flicked him on the forehead.

“Ow!”

“Listen to me you gorgeous, stubborn, brilliant, little jerkbender. I. Love. You.” Sokka jabbed his finger into Zuko’s chest for emphasis. “I love you. I love you for your kindness. I love you for your bravery. I love you for those beautiful golden eyes you have. I love you for the fact that you’ll only eat peaches if the skins have been peeled!”

“But-“

Sokka firmly grasped both sides of Zuko’s head, forcing him to meet his eyes, “I love you. Now, you don’t have to love me back, or, Tui and La, even _like_ me back. That’s fine! We can just be friends. But you need to know that I am here for you. That I support you. That I am a rock for you to lean on. Especially through all of this. I am here for you because I love you. You. Zuko. I love you.”

“I-“ Zuko blinked. “You said that a lot of times.”

“That’s because I want you to understand, and you seem to have a rather thick skull when it comes to understanding that people actually care for you.”

“Huh.”

Zuko scratched the back of his neck, feeling a warm blush settle into his cheeks. Sokka. . . Sokka loved him? That. . . that was. . . he. . . Zuko’s brain short-circuited.

“I- I love you. . .too?”

Sokka blinked. “You do?”

“Yeah. I- I think. . . I think I do. Yes.” Zuko felt a wide smile spread across his face and his heart felt too big for his chest. “Sokka. I love you.”

“Woah.” Sokka breathed. Then he pursed his lips and flicked Zuko again.

“Ow! Stop doing that!”

“Why are you just now telling me this?! Do you know how long I’ve been pining for you! So much angst! Because I thought you didn’t like me like that! Do you know how much kissing we could have accomplished by now!”

“You’re only just now tell me- Wait.” Zuko raised an eyebrow, “You were pining for me?”

Sokka’s cheeks heated and he looked up at the sky suspiciously. “I didn’t say that.”

“Yes, you did!” A sly look had gotten on Zuko’s face and he felt the overwhelming urge to something silly. Something very unusual for him. So, feeling brave, Zuko reached out and cupped Sokka’s face, making the sputtering boy go instantly still and alert.

“Wha-“

“Sokka? Can I kiss you?”

Sokka swallowed. “Yes. Yes. Yes, please. Y-“

Zuko sealed their lips together, pressing against Sokka as they gave and received the warmth in their tongues. It felt like soaring. It felt light. And all the darkness in Zuko’s life felt just a little bit brighter. Just a little bit farther away.

Zuko pulled back with a grin as Sokka let out a loud ‘Whoop!’ and pumped his arms in the air.

“Zuko just kissed me!!!”

The firebender let out a surprised laugh at the ridiculous boy in front of him, “Yeah, and I’ll do it again if you don’t stop yelling at Agni about our relationship status.”

Sokka pounced on him and sealed their lips together, both boys laughing into each other’s mouths.

As the kisses kept coming and the ‘I love you’s kept being shouted as they tumbled on the ship’s deck, Zuko couldn’t help but feel hope bloom in his chest. Because, yes, darkness can last a lifetime. But love. . . love can last even longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYYEEEE WE MADE ITTTTTT!!!
> 
> Final chapter done!! WOOHOOOOOO!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed it, the boys finally got their therapy! And they got their heads out of their butts and got together! Yay!! Okay, so I'm debating doing a third fic in this series and playing off of the poison cult storyline that was in the first few chapters, but we will see, that would not be for a while or even not at all. (Originally I had planned for this fic to be a full +50k fic and have the rescue mission be a subplot and the poison cult be the main plot and had all these ideas. . .but then I realized I didn't have the stamina for that, so I decided to just focus on this portion. I'm leaving the poison cult snippets in the first two chapters because that is still canon in this AU whether I get to flushing it all out or not. Sorry for the confusion!)
> 
> So thank you all for sticking with me through this crazy journey! I really REALLY appreciate all of you who leave kudos and make comments. It makes my days so much better just to know that people are listening and enjoy my stuff. If you would like to hop on board my next fic train, I have a moon spirit Sokka AU just starting called 'The Price of Peace' if you want to check it out. I'm really trying to prep myself for writing a novel so hopefully, the writing should be better in that one than in this one as I practice more.
> 
> I love you all so much!! Thank you again for reading!!!


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